Helene Kwong

Blog Updates Have Moved!

2010-08-22T00:06:00.000-07:00

I suppose I should make a formal announcement here at the "old" blog before I have all operations going at the new place.

From this point forward, all posts for my blog will now be at helenekwong.com . I finally figured out how to get the platform going over there, so now I don't need to have my blog and domain separate anymore.

So, change your bookmarks and see you over at my domain. Take care!

Desert Land & Reflections

2010-08-17T20:57:00.000-07:00

Dusty, two-lane highways are quintessential to the American way. Up until this past weekend, I hadn't really experienced the meaning of a "road trip". Sure, I drove to campus when I was in undergrad, but that was just me traveling from Point A to Point B, several times per year. I wasn't taking stops every hour or so to take in the scenery. Then again, I was the driver.

Over the weekend, I went to Las Vegas with some friends by car. Without stops, the drive would have been nine hours or ten, with traffic. But we took quite a few stops for gas, food, bathroom, coffee, etc. Along the way, I took many pictures of the scenery we passed by. It was different from what I was accustomed to in the past: dry, mountainous desert land.

On the way to Las Vegas, I felt intrigued by the landscape and watched it all pass by with a smile. On the way back to San Francisco, I felt a sadness emanating from the lands as we cruised on up Highway 5. The dryness of the area, the monotonous tones....I realized that I wouldn't want to live in areas like this.

Just more thoughts to confirm what my landscape preferences are: mountains, oceans, lakes, forests, etc. Let's not talk about cityscapes this time around. That'll have to wait until a future entry.

The Ebb & Flow of Writing, of Life

2010-08-13T12:10:00.000-07:00

In the past month, I haven't really thought much about writing. Sure, there were times when I decided I wanted to write a little something, so I fired up my NEO AlphaSmart and just typed away. But, these were just rare occurrences. I found myself focused on GMAT and on other aspects of my life instead.

And now, with the GMAT completed and all the free time in the world for me again, I sit here and just ponder. A part of me feels like I need to hurry up and get back to my writing, but there's a whole part of me that just gently nudges me and says, "Well, take your time. You don't need to be in a hurry."

During these past three years, I've seen my interest in writing go up and down a lot. There are periods of time when I feel like it's all I can think about, that I can only focus on my novels or my short stories and devour everything I can when it comes to writing reference and self-help books from the library or the bookstore. And then, the complete opposite happens: I stop writing, I stop reading, and I'm just befuddled as to what to do with my time.

That's just how it goes. And right now seems to be a period of nothingness after all the rollercoaster feelings I've gone through over the summer. Perhaps I'll find that passion for writing again. I know I will, but I suppose I can't always expect life to move so quickly with everything I want to do. Just take it all one moment at a time.

48 Hours Later: Change is Arriving

2010-08-10T12:10:00.000-07:00

It's strange to me that I sit here today with a completely different mindset than on Sunday afternoon. Yesterday, I decided to go downtown for some shopping and also to visit some old friends. The idea of reconnecting with others really invigorated me and gave me a renewed outlook; plus, it didn't hurt to hear their insight on my predicament from last Friday.

I realize now (and I'd known before but seemed to have forgotten) that....well, there's always more than one way to get to a destination, a goal. It's not always cut-and-dry, it's not always easy. Nothing is easy in life--that's what my family continues to say to me. But I should be grateful for all that has happened this year, both good and bad. I've learned a lot this year, maybe more than in previous years. I suppose it's always like that: each new year brings along new lessons.

Now, the next step seems clearer than it did on Sunday. My first baby step is to get over my fear of change. It happens all the time (change). I need to learn to move with it instead of fight it.

Roadblocks Along Life.

2010-08-08T12:39:00.000-07:00

Image via Wikipedia

Another delayed post. The past few weeks have been hectic, especially on the weekends, so I haven't had time to really think of much to write about.

In short, the fruits of my labor weren't realized on Friday when I took my actual GMAT for the third time. The whole weekend I've been pondering what to do next, and it doesn't really help that I feel tugged from different directions. There's a road that I want to travel upon to get to my destination, but somehow there are roadblocks coming along that I didn't expect. And now, I can only contemplate what to do next.

I know I need to find my place in life, that I need to achieve my goals. But then the question comes as well: what is really important to me? The past few days, I've thought about that and observed my surroundings, and I see what's important to me. I don't need anything more. Yet I find myself fighting for more anyway.

I suppose we all go through this phase at some point in our lives. Sometimes it happens early on in our lives, and sometimes it happens much later.

Well, that's all I have to say. Until Tuesday, then.

iPhone 4: I'm Ahead of the Curve

2010-08-03T12:03:00.000-07:00

Image by Victor Svensson via Flickr

I can't help but mention about my iPhone 4--mainly because this is the first time in awhile I've given into the technology craze around here. For me, I only get hyped up about certain products/electronics if those closest to me are overzealous about the products. Then, once I purchase it, I keep it forever--I'm one of those people who keep it simple and just stick with the product as is, not giving into the yearly updates/upgrades/etc.

The last time I remember "giving in" to an electronic craze? Back in late 2004/early 2005, I went to Japan for the first time, and one of my good friends kept talking about the new Panasonic Lumix FX7. I now forget why exactly the camera was so innovative at that point, but I went ahead and plunked down the money for the newest camera. I brought it back to the States and my friends were in awe over the sleek, slim design of the camera (back then, remember, US digital cameras were still bulky and similar to 35mm cameras).

Ah, but the years have passed, and the cameras in the US are now just as slim and compact as what the Lumix FX7 was in Japan 5-6 years ago. But, I still have my trusty little camera with me because it's lasted all these years, and I figure, why buy a new one if this one still works perfectly well?

So this brings me to the whole iPhone 4 schpiel at the beginning: oh, even though I'm one of the early adopters (one of many here in the Bay Area, sigh), I feel I'll probably still stick with the iPhone 4 even when Apple rolls out iPhone 5, 6, etc. in the next few years. Who knows. Technology continues to slide on quickly and consumers continue to grab at each new technological advance, so of course companies will continue to work hard on getting new products out.

But I'll still stick with my trusty electronics until they completely die out on me. We'll see what the future holds for this new gadget.

Week in Review: New month, 6 months.

2010-08-01T12:55:00.000-07:00

Image via Wikipedia

This past week: what a whirlwind. Things flew by so quickly that I didn't even notice that Friday had come and gone until it was too late. Appointments, classes, cooking, etc. Amidst it all, I spent very little time on my computer, which to me is usually a good thing since I don't like spending hours in front of the computer and over-thinking things.

Yesterday, July 31st, marked six months since that dark period of time for me. Exactly six months--my colleague had once told me how it takes up to six months to completely heal from everything that happens in a traumatic event. I was too quick to recover and be up and running again; little did I realize that my mind, my emotions, were slower to recuperate.

Can I say that I've healed a lot during this year? Yes, and no. At times there are still flashbacks, and it's one of those periods in time where, as hard as we may try to forget about it, it'll still linger in our minds. I suppose it doesn't help that the trauma occurred on my birthday, so of course I can never forget it now.

But, really, what good does it do to continue dwelling upon this? Re-hashing the past, trying to think of ways things "could have been" if A didn't happen or this and that--it's no use. It just causes more emotional distress, trying to alter the past when that's wholly impossible. It's best to continue walking along on this path and just look forward. Keep looking forward and don't look back.

An Unexpected Trip Through the Mountains

2010-07-27T14:29:00.000-07:00

A little trip away from San Francisco is always a welcome break. This past weekend, I went up to Reno, Nevada on a whim with family. It was my first time to go there, and the drive up was a bit spooky since we were driving through the mountains at night. Driving back down the next day, though, I was in awe watching the mountains loom overhead as we coasted down I-80.

Somehow, when I see mountains, I just feel at peace. Every time I go up to Montana (every few years or so), I just feel tranquility within myself as I gaze upon the Rocky Mountains. Perhaps I'm meant to be in the mountains, and perhaps that's why I feel drawn to relocate next year.

Opinions & Criticism on the Web

2010-07-23T08:23:00.000-07:00

I read this quotation last week (via my Twitter feed):

To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

I notice in recent times how I've come out of my shell a little more, saying a little more of my opinion (in real life and on the Internet) and really, not letting others beat me down for my words. It used to be that I'd clam up and just let others tell me that my opinion is wrong.

Now, if people tell me why exactly they disagree with me (yet still maintain respect for me), I can respect their criticism. But, when they just flat-out become mean-spirited and attack me personally....well, here, I walk away and move on.

It's not that I don't want to defend myself, but if they go on and personally attack me when this attack has nothing to do with the original argument, then it's useless to keep continuing the discussion. This only reflects how the other person feels insecure about his or her own opinion and just wants to stab me with something so to "prove" their superiority.

This comes through a lot on the Internet, unfortunately. I always feel irked whenever I see people just badmouthing for no particular reason on any blog post, news article, etc. Trolls, that's what they call them. Anyway, I've noticed that I tend to receive a comment (or two) on some of my Muni Diaries posts about the fact that my posts are worthless, wastes people's time, etc.

And these kinds of comments usually come from people who don't even state their own names.

If you're going to attack another person online, at least have the decency to show your name. That would show courage and that would hold you accountable for your own words. The Internet may seem like an easy place to escape your real-world identity, but in the end, it's purely immature to hide behind a facade and bad-mouth others.

When I see comments like these, I wonder how the commenter's life in the real world is like. Does this person feel like his/her life is not interesting enough, loving enough that he/she must go on the Internet to attack others?

I stand by my own words, and you can stand by yours, I'll give you that. But remember, to get respect, you must show respect. I put my name out there, so you should put yours out there as well, especially if you're going to criticize me. Even if you think that you are going to get away with your cruel words, just remember that what comes around goes around.

Waking Up Writing on a Monday Morning

2010-07-20T10:03:00.000-07:00

My brother had said something on Sunday evening while I was cooking: the timer on the stove was on, and it was ticking down 30 minutes. He looked at the timer and said "Wait a minute, there aren't 29 hours in a day."

Yesterday morning, I woke up and had this thought in my head...and I immediately got down to writing after I finished breakfast. Funny how inspiration just lands right in my lap.

My AlphaSmart NEO (pictured on the left) has been my lifesaver these past few months. I first heard about this little machine via NaNoWriMo and finally decided that I needed to get one when I realized how distracted I become while on my laptop. The NEO is only an electronic typewriter (in some ways)...but hey, it gets the writing job done for me! I can just take it into the kitchen and work on it with no distractions from my laptop.

It's also good for taking notes in a class, but I have yet to try that. I'll try it soon enough.

Week in Review: Zero writing but the schedule is coming along

2010-07-16T11:59:00.000-07:00

Image via Wikipedia

Oh, it's the end of the week? Well, it's the end of the work week for 9-5ers. For me, it's just my Tuesday. It's been two months since I decided to really focus on my writing and check out freelancing, but gee, it took me all this time to finally figure out some sort of comfortable schedule.

I had read in a few books and articles about how first-time freelancers/writers going full-time find it hard to really balance out their time for work and play. I knew this was going to happen to me, but I didn't completely believe it either until I experienced it myself.

Usually I'm pretty disciplined with my time, but a lot of changes were going on around me that it was hard to really set the schedule down. Plus, it's not like I really need to work on a rigid time schedule these days--I just have to get my hours in somewhere along the week: this many hours for studying GMAT, this many hours for my health/fitness (gym, Wii, etc.), this many hours for spending with loved ones, et. al.

It's safe to say that my "weekend" now occurs on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, which normally would be just fine by me. But since my GMAT class just started this week, I found myself steeped in homework problems yesterday morning before my class. That's what I get for taking those two days off! But I've learned my lesson and will budget my time more wisely for these next three weeks before my test.

In other news, another Muni Diaries feature today: Learning West Portal the Hard Way

Editor/friend Jeff said I bookended the blog this week with my stories of getting lost on Muni. Nice way to start/end the regular workweek! Now, I must get back to some online drills.

Conjuring up SF Muni Memories

2010-07-13T07:20:00.000-07:00

Image via Wikipedia

Well, as I'm counting down the months before I leave San Francisco for the next step in life, I've been working hard on remembering some things that have happened over the course of these three years.

One thing that I have liked about living here is just how so many people are technology-forward. This is where most of the magic happens, where Twitter is located, where Facebook is located, etc. etc. Also, where many of my favorite blogs are located.

I've been following Muni Diaries for a year or so now and have always been amused by the stories told there. I've mentioned Muni Diaries before (last year, when I submitted a few of my old blog entries for their archives), but for awhile now I hadn't thought much of other Muni incidents worth re-telling.

Well, now is the time. I've gotten lost on Muni a few times before, and they've always been entertaining...well, at least from the way I saw the incidents. Yesterday, my story about how I got lost on the 9X bus was posted up: Beginner's Luck on the Bayshore Express. My first time alone on Muni, and this is what happens! At least the panic didn't last long and I found my way back home.

Later this week, my other story will be posted on the blog; I've got to keep picking my brain for more Muni incidents though since I feel there can be many stories written from the multitude of times I've boarded Muni.

Practicing First Person Writing

2010-07-09T10:30:00.000-07:00

Image via Wikipedia

Oh, the title might not be what I mean to say--I'm always writing in first person through my blogs, Facebook, Twitter, my personal diary...I don't need the practice of writing in the first person necessarily.

But when I write flash fiction, short stories, etc. in the first person, I feel very strange and unnatural. As I'm writing, I can't help but feel, "Wait, am I writing the truth or is this all a foray into my creative thoughts?"

I write, and I write, and I write. And the more I write in the first person, the more uncomfortable I feel. I don't like feeling like I'm projecting my personal thoughts out onto my protagonist; I mean, I don't want readers to think that I really have these pre-meditated thoughts that my often-twisted characters have. Oh...but then I stop and realize, "Hey, don't take it all so seriously."

Another reason why it might all seem unnatural to me is because my protagonists tend to be men. I don't like writing with female protagonists, because I always make them sound too whiny, needy, girly, etc. The theme of the lady in distress finding her place in the world--it seems so overdone these days. I'd rather not add another story to that pile. And I'd rather not be marginalized to a certain genre.

So that leaves me with wanting to change my stories to the third person so readers feel more omniscient with all that's going on. At least then I wouldn't feel like my voice was coming through the story with first person.

But somehow these days I'm always drafting stories in the first person. Perhaps the subconscious is wanting to leak out that first person voice and strengthen it.

A Holiday Weekend of Reflection

2010-07-06T15:22:00.000-07:00

(picture from July 2008)

Independence Day has become more toned down for me these days. Two years ago, when I still lived in my first apartment here, I was lucky to have a crowd-free view of the fireworks over Pier 39. That was when I worked at the hot dog stand, and I remember having to work with the crowds over that holiday weekend. We had a lot of out-of-towners, some polite and some not-so-polite. That was the last time I saw fireworks though.

These past two years, I've just spent the day as "just another day" for myself and my loved ones. Home-cooked meals, staying at home...just relaxing. I've grown tired of the huge celebrations here in San Francisco, mainly because the huge crowds just make me feel like a lone number, nobody special.

It's good to be in a big city to have more opportunities for career, school, diversity, etc. I'll admit that much. But becoming lost in a large crowd, becoming a number, is depressing to me.

On Independence Day, I found myself contemplating about my life throughout the years. The people I grew up with, the places I've traveled to and lived in, the people I've met along the way...and I continue to see how much change is coming upon the horizon. Settling down is not an option for me right now; there's more out there for me than just what I have right now.

Last week, I read a blog post about how there's no better time to focus on than right now. And it's all been said before, but sometimes just reading someone else's words reaffirms that thought. Why worry about the future? It'll always be uncertain. Why fret about the past? It's the past, it's long gone, it's static. Unchangeable. Focus on what's going on right now. Seize the day.

I'm reminding myself about this every moment I get.

Shifting focus, ever so slightly...

2010-07-02T11:38:00.000-07:00

Image via Wikipedia

A quick little note before I head out for an eventful Friday--

This week has been an off-week for my writing. I had a lot of momentum, motivation, inspiration, what-have-you last week and was pounding out stories and feeling rejuvenated reading my drafts. This week, lost that steam as I came to the realization of how I must prepare for my GMAT preparation class coming up in a week and a half. Sigh. Here comes along a slight obstacle in the flow of my writing, but I know it is necessary for me to focus on these classes since I want to improve my GMAT score to get into business school for next year.

Yes, I like being in both worlds, of business and creativity. I suppose they go hand-in-hand in many ways, but the common thread of thought seems to be that people "can't" be both. Oh, but then again, who wants to be one-dimensional?

There will always be periods of ups-and-downs, but I know I gotta work through it all with the same amount of strength and courage. Onward towards another holiday weekend! I hope you all enjoy Independence Day (if you're in the US, of course). Have a good one and see you again on Tuesday!

Brief Flashes & Promising Second Looks

2010-06-29T09:32:00.000-07:00

Image by life serial via Flickr

Over the weekend, I've spent a lot of time catching up on magazines (both consumer and literary) and refreshing my memory with my short stories. Most of them I had drafted back in 2008; most of them are rather short, under 500 words. It's sobering and also enlightening to look back on what I wrote even just two years ago--the scenery around me may change, but these words have stayed static, capturing my thoughts from that period of time.

Some things I noticed from reading my drafts has been the common thread of dark themes. I consciously know that, for myself, I do not want to be marginalized with writing something fluffy and light. Oh sure, I do like reading the occasional chick lit book; but for me to write a story in that genre? I can't see myself doing it without laughing at myself. Plus, I feel like the "plight of the woman" is all too overplayed these days.

I can also see how, when I asked my sister and a few colleagues to critique one of my stories last month, that I do have a tendency to "tell too much and not show enough". I know I ramble when I am writing creatively, even in blogs; the irony is that I have a business background from school, so you'd think I'd learned about keeping things short and simple.

Anyway, I found a few promising drafts to polish up for submissions, but I continue to find myself distracted by my ideas for new writing, new blogs, etc. I find that I lose focus sometimes rather too easily and that I want to do more than what I can actually pile onto my plate.

Book Review: Will the World End in 2012?

2010-06-27T16:03:00.000-07:00

Image via Wikipedia

Note: Special post today because I just finished reading this book. Regular posts will be back on Tuesday!

I read Will the World End in 2012? With a skeptic mind due to the fact that I’ve been wishy-washy on all the theories of the “end of the world”. To say the least, the book was entertaining to read yet I also learned a little bit from it. There were a few theories I had never heard of before, and these theories were essentially shot down as possibilities of the end of the world in the book anyway.

What bothers me slightly is how Dr. Hundley and his publisher market the book as an unbiased look at the end of the world theories. The cover of the book clearly states the book is a Christian guide, and the book even ends with a few suggestions of how, if the reader was not a Christian before, he or she should consider bringing Christ into his or her life.

Look, I am a Christian, and I believe in sharing the word of God with others. But I’m not sure if Hundley’s efforts in writing and marketing this book for a “wider audience” would be effective unless his publisher specifically requested for the book to be stocked in the 2012 literature sections of major bookstores. If not, the book may only reach Christian readers, which, although that’ll still be a success for the book, it may not be as effective as Hundley had wanted it to be.

Overall though, I found that the book was easy-to-read and was insightful in other aspects. Recommended for those who are curious about all the 2012 theories floating out there (Hundley analyzes the ten most-popular theories).

--------------------------------

I had finished reading this book late last night, which probably wasn't the brightest idea since it made me feel a little agitated before bedtime. Yes, let's read about fire and brimstone right before bedtime! But I only had part of the book left to read so I figured, why not.

On the subject of 2012, I seem to be surrounded by people who are poking at the end-of-the-world talk with jokes. For instance--

My brother: "Well, in terms of car loans, we can go with the 5-year-one because the world will end in 2012 and we won't need to finish paying off the car!"

At least some of us can look at the situation with a chuckle.

Sifting Through Literary Magazines

2010-06-25T12:39:00.000-07:00

(Photo taken February 7, 2007)

This week I've found myself extremely intrigued by literary magazines. I ventured out to The Booksmith on Haight to pick up a copy of The First Line since I anticipate submitting stories to them. While I was there, I began looking at other magazines and discovered a few more that I hadn't known about.

To be honest, I didn't think much of literary magazines until recently. I was more interested in consumer magazines and didn't find interest in reading others' stories. I suppose you can say I was engulfed in my own writing and felt like I couldn't be bothered to read short stories, and that my time would be better spent reading novels...

But of course that mindset has changed. There's an abundance of literature to be read out there, and, after looking through several magazines I've purchased, I realize that hey, reading others' short stories is enlightening. We're all in the same boat and it's nice to see the different styles strewn throughout the different journals. That's what makes art art: we may have same or similar dreams, but we all go about the experience in different ways through our different writing styles.

Spending the First Day of Summer at the Beach--

2010-06-22T20:15:00.000-07:00

What a perfect way to start summer off, right? It is such an All-American thing to do but I can't remember the last time (if ever) I'd gone to the beach at the start of summer. I went down to Santa Cruz yesterday and enjoyed the warm, sunny weather--I heard my mind exclaiming, "This is how I like my summers!"

Living in San Francisco for three years now, I've forgotten about the warmth and sunshine that summer entails--you'd think that growing up on the East Coast (where all four seasons are very noticeable) would prevent me from forgetting about summertime. Well, the fog rolling in over the city and the cooler winds blowing through quickly wiped away my memory of hot summers spent outside, riding my bicycle around the front yard of my old house. These days, I only own one pair of shorts and one tank top for those very very rare summery days in SF...or, for when I am able to venture out of the city to warmer places.

Santa Cruz's Beach Boardwalk is very commercialized yet still has that old-timey spirit to it. I'd been here last year on a field trip with the school and it was an overcast day then. We also unknowingly were able to take advantage of the "1907 Nights" happening on Mondays and Tuesdays after 5pm where all rides are $1/person and some refreshments/retail are also $1 or less. What a steal! We rode many rides after 5pm and fully enjoyed ourselves. We also spent some time on the beach, where the boys ran around like they were ten, chasing and wrassling with one another and disturbing our fellow beach-mates (but it was still amusing).

I found myself sitting behind my camera more than actually running around with the rest of them, but it gave me a sense of pure happiness to capture all the scenes through my lens. In the past year, I've lost a lot of passion for photography, so I'm trying to slowly gain back the practice of taking pictures wherever I go. It gives everyday life more sparkle and meaning to have it frozen in time by a photo.

-------------------------------------------

A brief blogging note: I'll be posting more regularly now on Tuesdays and Fridays. Be on the look-out for my next post this Friday. Enjoy the rest of your week, wherever you are!

Week in Review: Steady Fiverr Gigs & Organizing Goals

2010-06-19T13:53:00.001-07:00

This past week went by very very slowly. I'm wondering if it's because I took the time to really enjoy each moment and not worry so much about the present.

I joined Fiverr a couple weeks ago after hearing about it from my sister-in-law. It's an interesting concept: people do anything for $5 (well, net $4 since Fiverr takes $1 per sale). Some users on the site offer very usable skills and services, but most offer just frivolous services such as writing something on their forehead for $5. I wouldn't pay the money for that unless I was really bored, had a lot of money to spare, and found that at all amusing.

Anyway, I've posted gigs on there, mostly writing-related. At first, nobody was biting (I'm offering skills that many others are also offering after all), but this week I've seen a steady stream of orders. It's good to exercise my writing muscles in other ways.

Last night, before I went to bed, I organized my goals for the summer (in terms of writing). There are a couple of literary magazines I'd like to submit to, and one writing contest I was notified about via Facebook. Now, I have to go back and look through all my short stories (ones written from 2008-2009) and see which ones have potential of being polished in a timely manner.

This week was the first real week for me to have some semblance of a "regular" schedule since things are slowly getting back to normal around me. I don't have as much of a structured week though, so my days off are whenever I feel like it for the time being. Of course, I'll need to figure out a better outline of a schedule as time passes; it's hard to really enjoy time when I feel like I'm on-call the whole time.

In other news, I just now went through my labels/tags for this blog. Gee whiz, I have a tendency to be too broad yet too specific at the same time. I guess it'd help if I had more of a focus for this blog. I only say this now because I'm taking a class on blogging via Gotham Writers' Workshop. Even though I've been blogging for many years now (probably about ten!), I figured it was time for me to learn to refine my blogging skills. In general, all my Internet skills have just been trial-and-error over the years, but I feel more confident if I have some sort of foundation. I have more blog ideas incubating in my mind since I've started the class, but those ideas will have to wait until I improve my current blogs (this one and Cinnamon Juice...oh, it's so quiet over there!).

Singular Peach.

2010-06-18T12:16:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, I received a fresh peach and accidentally left it in the car overnight.

This morning, while I was eating loquats for breakfast, I suddenly remembered that the peach was still in the car. I thought about the possibility of the peach over-ripening in the heat of the day. I quickly got dressed and walked outside into the fog.

My upstairs neighbor was outside smoking with the front door slightly cracked open. My acupuncturist went to his office on the corner of our block to pick up his morning paper; we both had epiphanies as we realized the fact that we're next-door neighbors.

I walked on to the car and rescued the peach. It had a small cut on it but it still felt fresh and ready-to-eat luckily. I continued on back home holding the peach like a treasure. It's now safe at home.

Somehow I felt inspired after that mission.

The Writer's Life.

2010-06-13T09:41:00.000-07:00

In the past three weeks, I've immersed myself into the world of writing again. It's been refreshing and energizing being able to focus on what I want to be doing with this time on my hands.

Yesterday, I participated in the New York Writers' Coalition's Write-A-Thon, where participants had to write 3,000 words in order to win the challenge. I only heard about the event the day before, but I decided that it would be something fun to do on a Saturday afternoon. 3,000 words is a small feat after all compared to NaNoWriMo's 50,000 words. My story went for a strange turn though as I typed along on my Neo Alphasmart; it was mainly a jumble of thoughts I had in my mind.

I finally got around to reading Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird this past month, and now I understand why other writers say it's an essential book on writing. Lamott's humor was nice to read since a lot of times self-help/how-to books can be a little dry. However, she sprinkles all her advice amidst her humor, which makes the book easy to follow somehow.

I've been collecting information for writing contests and submitting to literary magazines; the summer at least looks eventful in the writing aspect of my life. There are other things going on throughout the summer, but I will get through it all in one piece. Time continues to mystify me, but I can't stop and ponder that thought too long; just keep moving on, enjoying the moment.

May: A Time of Change.

2010-05-19T16:25:00.000-07:00

I received my alma mater's alumni newsletter yesterday and it listed over 3,000 students graduated this past weekend from the school. I'm reminded of how I felt three years ago when I finished my undergraduate studies and how the world seemed so vast before me at that point. It was the end of school life, but the beginning of my professional life, or at least as most people see it, "The Adult Life".

And now, I'm embarking on another change in my life during this month of May; the end of something, the beginning of another. Transitions seem to be happening at this time regardless of industries; people leaving their jobs to return to their home countries, counselors moving their services to another center, etc.

Change is in the air and it seems unstoppable. I often find myself face-to-face with people who are afraid of change, afraid of leaving the familiar. And then they look back on this point in their life when they're older and they kick themselves for not having more courage to do the un-thinkable, or the unusual.

As the saying goes, ignorance is bliss. It's best now to leap before I look and see where I land. I let fear hold me back for the past few months, but now I'm moving forward. "The End" used to be more painful for me, but I've grown to see that there will always be beginnings and ends throughout life. Things come and go throughout life, but those that really matter will stay throughout the changing times.

I say, bring it on; I'm ready for whatever comes my way now.

the3six5 aftermath; motivation--

2010-04-30T13:39:00.000-07:00

I meant to write sooner after I had my entry posted over at the3six5 last Saturday. But, the week has been one of those common ones: busy, jam-packed, no time to really sit down and blog...or is it all an illusion?

Today, I woke up from sleeping over 12 hours. I checked my reading list for this year and I realize I've read very few books so far this year. Hm. The past two years, I read books rather quickly, but I have to say, this year has been blatantly different from the past few years. A chunk of time was stolen from me, but I can't keep dwelling on that "lost time"--just move on.

Back to my commentary on the3six5: I was anxious before April 24, worried that I wasn't going to have much to contribute to my own post. But that morning, I woke up and felt inspired coincidentally; everything seemed to fall into place perfectly. Time and again, I realize it's best not to worry about things because life always works out somehow, even if not "perfectly".

I finally got around to finishing the first draft of a short story I had started writing back in October. I'm anticipating a lot to happen in the next few months, but really I need to kick my motivation up many notches. When I'm not held accountable for my goals, of course I end up procrastinating. I see that happen to me all the time until one of my loved ones metaphorically kicks me where it hurts. They never fail to get me going with their honesty.

And here it is, the last day of April--I can't believe summer is around the corner. The weather in San Francisco this year has been strange; more rain in the spring than usual. I know rain is common for most other places in the country during the springtime; however, it is an unusual sight for this city by the bay.

First Third, 2010.

2010-04-22T10:11:00.000-07:00

There's still a week left in April, but still: last night, I came to the realization that the year is almost already a third over. The time that has passed this year--it's hard to believe how it stays in motion and that the dark period of time continues to edge further and further away.

I've been reviewing my journals from the last half of 2009 and I realize that, although many things change externally and internally, a lot of my thoughts stay constant. The goals I had mapped out for this year have been derailed by that unfortunate period of time, but slowly, I'm picking myself back up.

On Monday, I found myself perusing the public library and scooping up a few more books on writing. I can never get enough of these kinds of books; I'm always looking to read and learn more, to hone my craft. Writing has been dormant lately, at least creatively. Sure, I'm drafting emails and meeting minutes at work, but that's just stating the facts. Reminds me of my days in high school when I wrote articles for the school paper.

In a few days, I'll be leaving my mark on the3six5 Project, and I continue to feel in disbelief that my time to write my entry for the project has snuck up on me so quickly. I remember when I signed up to be a writer for the project (late last year) that I was already envisioning what I would write on April 24; I had many plans and dreams to build up to that point in time back in December. Now, I see that all those plans I had will not be written about, at least not this year. There are different things happening instead.

Life continues to amaze me with the twists and turns that come my way. Reading my journals has been like reading a suspenseful novel; didn't know things would turn out this way, but I'll still persevere. I'm alive today, and I'm truly thankful for that.

Review: Lucado's "Fearless" Quashes Unnecessary Worries

2010-03-27T09:46:00.001-07:00

Fearless: Imagine Your Life Without Fear by Max Lucado

My rating: 4 of 5 stars
Max Lucado is a pro at writing inspirational books, and "Fearless" further confirms that fact. Each chapter opens up with scenarios/small stories to warm the reader up for the topic of the chapter. Lucado includes many aspects of the Bible throughout the text just to prove more and more that people should not fear so much, that God has taken care of many of our fears/worries.

This was a great book for me to read while recovering from a car accident; definitely a good way to get my mind back on track.

View all my reviews >>

Internal War

2010-03-19T15:06:00.000-07:00

The physical recovery may appear to go quickly, but the mental and emotional recovery does not go along as quickly.

My family had said to me last month how it's surprising that I'm not more traumatized from what had happened to me. My simple response: "I may not appear to be traumatized right now, but it may come back to me later."

And here I sit now with that feeling catching up to me. A part of me wishes to "get back to normal" but a part of me is saying "stop; don't rush it." It is when I'm like that I start to push away others, despite needing the support. The constant war between needing solitude and then needing someone to pick me up from these dredges--it's enough to make me want to run away.

Yesterday I found myself feeling all sorts of frustration as I strolled around the local mall. I bought myself a small notepad to start jotting down thoughts on-the-go again since I had stopped doing that for a few months. It helps to have a notebook with me, at least to let my mind throw out all the pent-up thoughts. It may not make sense, but it helps to relieve the thoughts stuffed inside my head.

My co-worker told me yesterday that the recovery period could take me up to six months, if not more. The emotional and mental aspects of the recovery come along a lot slower, but the body and mind needs a lot of time. She said for me to be patient with everything, and that's a hard thing for me to do since I tend to be in a rush with everything.

The weather this week has been gorgeous and Spring-like in San Francisco; hoping for rebirth soon.

Stop; think.

2010-03-14T12:13:00.000-07:00

Say you're speeding along on a road, skipping a few stop signs here and there because you're late for some sort of appointment/party/meet-up/etc. You're racing the clock and you can't be bothered with paying attention to traffic rules.

Say you're a pedestrian walking along in your neighborhood, observing all the stop signs and making sure the coast is clear.

Suddenly, a car comes zooming out of nowhere and the driver neglects to stop for you.

You are the driver. You see the pedestrian one second too late.

The pedestrian is suddenly on top of your hood. And the pedestrian is no more.

Now, you think to yourself "Did I really need to be in a hurry to get to wherever I was going?"

Was it all worth killing someone over? Running over an innocent pedestrian?

Think about it next time you get into your car.

Re-start--

2010-03-08T06:26:00.000-08:00

It's the first Monday back to work after five weeks of recovery and rest. Day by day, I continue to be in disbelief over the series of events that have occurred in the past month. Life is as it is, and many times we can't fully explain if this is all real or just a hazy dream.

I've been in the process of rearranging things in my life, including my goals and my timeline. Sometimes we forget to slow down and enjoy each moment; we're always on the go to find the next best thing, impatient to have time pass by a lot faster.

It's amazing to see how easy it is for people to brush off long absences from the Internet as just "a hiatus" and nothing more. People move on from the Internet and its amusements everyday; friends come and go even in the virtual world, as some find out that they would rather spend time building relationships in the real world than the virtual world. People move on; when an online friend disappears for a long time, you may just think "Well, they've moved on with their life and they have better things to do than the Internet."

I wish I could say that the past month away from the Internet was just a simple hiatus, but it wasn't. At the time being, I am not ready to disclose fully what had happened to me--the memories are still too fresh for me, as are the feelings that are brought up when I think about the incident and how my family suffered through that first week watching me as I teetered back to life after that near-death experience.

For now, though, I will distance myself from that situation and start back on my life, however normal it can be now. There's a time for everything, and right now, the time is to focus on the present and moving forward.

Upside Down in January

2010-01-18T10:27:00.000-08:00

This is the first time in probably years where the year has started off with nonstop action. Most of the time, the month of January has been just dry and boring for me. Things go by like syrup, so the days feel too long and I'm usually left sitting and staring at a clock for the time to just edge by.

But this year, January has been a monster for me. I feel like I've been on a rollercoaster for this first half of the month, up and down, up and down. There's been barely any time to breathe and reflect on all the changes. As my friend said to me the other day, there's no time to feel much emotion for things that have happened.

In the little free time I've had this month, I have been walking around more and reflecting on the past few years. I've seen a few of my favorite businesses in my neighborhood close down due to the slow economy, and new businesses popping up near the Financial District showing promise for an improving economy. Still, there are a lot of vacant storefronts, all victims to the recession.

I also find myself observing others more, and realizing what a long way I've come in the past 5-10 years. It's a big chunk of time to think about, but I notice how times have changed and how I've aged when observing others. I watch young high-schoolers board the bus with their nonchalant "tough" demeanor and I wonder what they'll be thinking about when they come to my age. I'm not much older than they are, but the space between the teenage and young adult years is much wider than the space between the 20s and 30s.

The rest of the month (the next two weeks) will continue upon this rollercoaster I've boarded. I'm not sure if the ride will stop on my birthday or if it'll continue on throughout the year.

Reaching Out on Muni.

2010-01-07T09:18:00.000-08:00

It was a crowded 5-Fulton outbound on a Tuesday commute. Somewhere near the Civic Center, a blind man and his girlfriend (also partially blind) got on the bus and were given seats near the front but not next to one another. Closer to City Hall, a boy around the ages of 7-9 got on the bus with his mother and stood near the front of the bus.

The boy had noticed the blind man's walking cane and began to talk with him.

Boy: "Sir, what's that stick for?"
Blind man: "Oh, it's to help me find my way around because I cannot see."
Boy: "You can't see? What do you mean? Can you see me?"
Blind man: "Unfortunately, no, I cannot see you, at least not in this dim light [on the bus]."
Boy: "I wish you could see me. I would give you my eyes so you can see."
Blind man: "You are so very sweet, thank you."

The boy's mother, meanwhile, seemed uncomfortable with her son being overly inquisitive with a stranger. She continued to hush and scold him for asking too many questions throughout the conversation.

Boy: "Do you cook?"
Blind man: "Oh, no way, I don't. But my girlfriend cooks for me."

The blind man motions to his girlfriend in the general direction of her voice.

Boy: "Oh, you are his girlfriend?"
Girlfriend: "Yes, I am."
Boy: "Can you see me?"
Girlfriend: "I also cannot see, but I can see better than my boyfriend."
Boy: "Why can you both not see? I wish I could give both of you my eyes so you can see me and everyone else here."
Girlfriend: "That's so very kind of you, thank you."

The boy and his mother had to get off the bus around Fillmore. Before he got off the bus, he bid his farewell to the couple.

Boy: "It was nice meeting you, Sir." He takes the blind man's hand into his own and shakes it.
Blind man: "It was very nice meeting you, too. Thank you."
Boy: "It was nice meeting you, Miss." He hugs the girlfriend.
Girlfriend: "You are so sweet, thank you. You take care of yourself and your mother now."

The boy and his mother exited, and enough seats freed up between the couple so they could find one another again by the sound of each other's voices.

-----------------------------
The whole scene was enough to make my week and remind me of how, despite our differences, we humans will always care for one another in some ways without even being properly acquainted. The little boy, despite not even knowing the blind man and his girlfriend, was so sincere and willing to give up his own eyes for them so they could see. It's a rare sight (no pun intended) to see something like this on public transportation these days, where the rest of us tend to keep to ourselves and fall into our own worlds while on the bus.

the3six5 Project.

2010-01-02T10:18:00.000-08:00

I'm currently sitting in JFK Airport's T5, waiting for my delayed flight back to San Francisco. It's a New Year, another year, another chance at more changes and accomplishments. 2010 so far has been a mixed bucket: joys and sorrows. But, let's write about something else, shall we?

I've signed up to participate in the3six5 project, a project featuring 365 people's views on all the days of the year. Each author picks a day in the year 2010 to write about that day, the current events, reflections, etc. Basically, what are the lives like of 365 people in the US? After the project concludes (one year from now), the creators of the project (Len Kendall and Daniel Honigman) hope to publish the project as a "crowdsourced journal of 2010".

There were several days I wanted to write an entry for, but unfortunately, all of those were already reserved for other authors. So, I went for the next best thing, which was essentially the next available consecutive date. Look out for my entry on April 24, 2010. Perhaps that day will be something spectacular.

Then again, isn't everyday spectacular in its own way?

2009 Reflections & 2010 Goals

2009-12-27T20:09:00.000-08:00

I might as well write my "remembering 2009" entry now, as I may not have much time to reflect during the last days of the year. I'm currently far away from a place I used to call home, and I've been contemplating a lot about what this next year, 2010, has in store for me.

This year has been a good year for me, writing-wise, but of course, with any progress, there's always a few steps taken backwards as well. I launched my domain, helenekwong.com, earlier this year to be ambitious about my writing, to get the word out. The website has drawn a decent number of viewings, but I admit that it's pretty plain in terms of design. I've posted short stories on my website and through other outlets such as Scribd and GoodReads; was featured on Scribd for my story, "From Riches to Rags", which really helped my online presence. Later in the year, I was featured on the "i live here:SF" project. I'd say these two instances were great accomplishments through the online world.

Aside from these recognitions, I've also kept myself busy online with contributions to Muni Diaries, blogging on "Cinnamon Juice" (my food blog; currently on hiatus), and writing reviews on Yelp!. I'd say indeed that it has been a busy year on the Internet for myself.

In terms of my writing progress: I began 2009 with a lot of vigor for editing and revising my first novel. However, as is typical of some writers, I began to get distracted with other projects (writing and non-writing related), and have put my editing on hold. I hit a dry spot in inspiration early in the year, and attempted to muster up that Muse through writing exercises found in books. I've written a few short stories through online prompts and daily observations, but have yet to get around to finalizing the stories for public reading. NaNoWriMo this year was difficult for me, as November was a really trying time for myself in my personal life. My novel is still unfinished, but I do not feel as sad about it as I thought I would; I understand sometimes that other priorities must take place in my life, and that, sadly, my writing has to take a backseat when it comes to these other priorities.

Do I regret not writing as much, not featuring as much, from this year? No. Life happens, and, as much as I'd like to focus more on my writing, I understand that I have other dreams and goals that must take my full concentration at times. I already have some plans for 2010 though:

Really, seriously, edit and revise Novel 1 and get it ready for agents. Out of all the first drafts I have written so far, Novel 1 is the most promising for the public. The other novels are still promising as well, but they have a lot of kinks that I need to work out over time. However, ever since writing Novel 1 two years ago, the plot still holds onto me as I think about the story and how it unfolded when I first pounded out that draft. I had begun the process of editing/revising earlier this year, and I had hoped to have the book ready for agents before June. As we all know now, that didn't happen; I will seriously focus on getting this draft ready by April 2010 at the latest. I'll track my progress here so you all can keep me on track.
Write/Edit/Revise/Post one short story per month (12 all year). It seems like too little, but it'd actually be a lot for me to do this. It'll be something to look forward to each month, right?

There will be more goals along the way as the year starts out; for now, I hope you, my readers, will keep these two in mind and help keep me on track.

In the meantime, I wish you all a wonderful end-of-2009 and many great things in 2010.

Megan McCafferty: One Smart Writer

2009-12-11T17:23:00.001-08:00

Back in the summer, I'd mentioned about my book genre preferences. And as that entry stated, even though I'm open to all genres, I prefer certain ones over others (as does everyone else). For awhile, I hadn't wanted to venture into Chick Lit mainly because I honestly felt like "Well, I already know what it feels like to be a girl, so why read about all that angst?"

That was before I started reading Megan McCafferty's Jessica Darling series.

I was yoked in immediately through the first book, feeling like I was going down memory lane, re-living a parallel universe of my high school years. Albeit mundane, the plot has drawn in so many readers, because they can relate to the protagonist, Jessica Darling. McCafferty's skill at writing the series is what impresses me the most though; anybody can write about the tumultuous years of high school through college, but can they do it as well as McCafferty?

Earlier this year, I read an article about what Sesame Street can teach writers to do: to write in "the monster at the end of the book". This is where a writer knows how to draw readers in with a bit of a promise of a "treat" by the end of the book. McCafferty has honed this craft well with the 5-book series, making skeptical readers (like myself) keep on reading, trying to search for that monster at the end...

I flew through the first few books in the series within a few days of starting the books; that's just how easy yet well-written they are. The language is simple (as if I myself were Jessica Darling writing the diary entries out), and, well, the story is one that many of us can relate to.

I'm looking forward to reading the last of the books in the series, and I hope to hone my craft as well as McCafferty has.

San Francisco Scenes, Part 2

2009-12-06T17:16:00.000-08:00

Tommy's Joynt
Van Ness Avenue & Geary Street
Sunday afternoon

After visiting the farmer's market today, I decided to go by the public library to pick up a few books I had on hold. I waited outside one entrance with a few other patrons, and, when the doors open, we all began walking in. I was surprised when I saw the hoards of people flooding in from all the entrances into the library, as if the place were a shopping mall. Perhaps I just haven't been out enough, but it seems like only here in San Francisco can I see such a scene for the library. There were a mix of people: young, old, wealthy, homeless, etc. They all wanted to go inside to relax, to sleep, to check out books (like me), and other things. I felt others found the library as more than just a place for books; to many here in the city, the public library is a sanctuary from the elements and the sometimes-harsh street scene. Quiet, tranquil, and open.

Later on, I had lunch at Tommy's Joynt with my brother. Tommy's Joynt is a true San Francisco institution where you can see people from all walks of life eating together and truly sharing at least one thing in common. It was another eclectic crowd inside, not unlike the crowd I saw streaming into the library. Some people were interested in watching Sunday football on the televisions in the restaurant; others just wanted a warm meal for a good value.

-----------

Many times, I feel like I don't belong here in San Francisco with the different "scenes" aka crowds in the city; other times, like today, I feel it doesn't matter what group we all supposedly belong in, as long as we're happy and letting others just do their own thing with no judgment involved.

San Francisco Scenes, Part 1

2009-12-01T21:37:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, San Francisco really frustrates me; other times, it surprises and amuses me. Two instances:

Story #1
A couple of months ago, I was walking with my brother to buy groceries on Masonic. We were laughing about something else when suddenly we heard a skateboarder coming down Masonic, down the hill from Trader Joe's. The guy was carrying a bag of groceries and trying to balance himself on his skateboard (a mighty feat) when he got distracted with a Jaguar on the road. We didn't realize until he started speaking that he was really a pirate in disguise.

"Yargh...Jaguar!"

He looks at the Jaguar, and suddenly, he falls off his skateboard. My brother and I stand in shock as we both are afraid he might get run over. Traffic stops.

The skateboarder then picks himself up from the road.

"Yargh...ye bastard!"

He notices that his skateboard went flying across the road.

"Yargh...me skateboard!"

And then he hurls himself across traffic to retrieve his skateboard, as if nothing happened and that it was all normal to him.

Story #2
Today at work, I noticed across Market Street there was a guy with an easel and he looked like he was painting/sketching a man in a wheelchair a few feet away. I pointed out the scene to my co-workers and immediately felt curious about the situation; the artist looked deep in thought, as if studying his subject and making sure he was accurate with his depictions.

Well, a co-worker went to investigate the scene, and sadly, it wasn't as poignant as it appeared from our office: the artist was drawing something abstract, and the man in the wheelchair? He wasn't the subject; it was merely a coincidence that they were both in close proximity.

Still, the scene struck me as something unique for the city; we have street artists, sure, but this guy was really, well, taking the term in a different way. He was dismantling his easel and work by the time I left work; I wanted to catch a glimpse of his progress, but I decided it was best to let it go.

Nearing the End of a Tumultuous Month

2009-11-29T13:25:00.000-08:00

Well, November was certainly more than I expected yet also more than I did not expect. I've been away on travels for the past ten days, visiting various bookstores in Montana with my sisters and enjoying a classic Thanksgiving in all-American style.

For more of November, though, I've been working on various projects for work and little time to focus on NaNoWriMo, sadly. I only began participating in NaNoWriMo in 2007, but somehow this year, November has been a little crazier than in the previous two years.

In the past, I know I would have felt a little more upset over the idea of not winning NaNoWriMo on time. But I understand that, well, life happens. This year's novel idea has been a little half-baked anyway, and although I do like where the plot is going, I just have not felt inspired enough to work on it every day. Well, it's okay; nobody's perfect, and I'll keep this in mind for next time.

I have been thinking more and more how I need to get back to my first novel and begin rewriting it; out of all the novel drafts I have produced over the past two years, that first one has the best storyline so far. Of course, I'll go back and fix up the second and third novels after the first one has been rewritten. Now I understand why it takes so long to get novels into presentable form: life just keeps coming around!

Featured on Bay Area Local Television--

2009-11-06T22:08:00.000-08:00

In high spirits this evening; earlier today, I got the chance to participate in a television audience for the first time. The "View from the Bay" show is a local talk-show, featuring food and local cultural outlooks for mid-day viewers to watch. I initially wanted to be in the audience because of Jaden Hair being a guest on the show; however, I also got the opportunity to submit a question to the consumer reporter on the show and ask the question on-air. Exciting!

In NaNoWriMo news, looks like the Muse is picking up a little speed, at least for now. Still behind on that daily word-count, but I'll just keep chugging along. Thanks to my friends on Twitter, I have momentum to keep me going. Looking forward to the rest of the month!

Falling into NaNoWriMo

2009-11-03T19:42:00.000-08:00

I was pretty hyped up for NaNoWriMo, earlier than in the past two years...but events from over the weekend made me lose momentum and motivation. My word count has been lagging behind, and really, my plot hasn't been as inspired as the previous two years.

I've considered dropping out already (despite it being only Day 3), but I feel like, for my own sake, I should keep doing this and see the project through the end of the month.

I find that it's easier to focus on projects like NaNoWriMo when I know I'm doing it to avoid unpleasant things. I hate the feeling of waiting around with nothing to pass the time.

The picture above was one of my favorite shots from my Halloween walk on the weekend. It made me think about Romeo & Juliet, naturally, but that dummy mummy up there makes the picture evermore mysterious/ominous.

I suppose I should go and add more to my word count now. Just checking in briefly on the blog. Best of luck to those who are participating in NaNoWriMo.

Tea Bag Wisdom

2009-10-26T19:54:00.000-07:00

Every week, when I visit my friend, I look forward to drinking a cup of Good Earth Tea, which always has a quotation attached to the tea bag. It's almost like opening up a fortune cookie, the anticipation of looking inside to see what words have come to me by chance.

I had written an entry during the middle of summer how one of these particular quotations struck me in a way that really opened my eyes up. To this day, I still have that quotation tucked away in my wallet to remind me that I really do not need to feel like I must do everything all at once. One thing at a time will do.

In other news, it's less than a week until NaNoWriMo, and I honestly don't have anything really brewing in my head in terms of a plot/storyline. I have been brainstorming, sure, but nothing seems to be accumulating into something captivating. I suppose that's the point though: I just need to be writing something, period. Despite not being surrounded by other participants physically, I feel like the energy I feel from the forums really feeds my motivation. It's too bad I can't go to the Write-A-Thon this year, but I suppose I can have my own private Write-A-Thon sometime this next month.

Well, onward!

Captivating Cards

2009-10-23T18:50:00.000-07:00

Yesterday after work, I was over in Japantown looking at some advertisements, which then led me to the Kinokuniya Card Store, which then led me to these cards here: when I first saw the card on the right, I felt spellbound by it. The picture doesn't do it much justice; the colors make the scene seem so much more surreal. I stood there in the store, staring at the card for a good 2-3 minutes until I snapped out of the trance.

I wasn't going to buy the card, but then I found myself admiring the card on the left, designed by local San Franciscan artist Tomoko Maruyama. I first stumbled upon her work via Facebook and had since been trying to hunt down her cute, light designs in the city. Lo and behold, most of her work is featured in Japantown, so now I know. I picked up the Tomoko Maruyama card and then, thinking a bit, I went back and picked up the other card.

I've used the Tomoko Maruyama card already for a friend, but the other card, I think I shall keep. Strangely, it has a power over me; after buying the card, I felt a real sudden urge to just write. I decided to write a letter to an old friend after that, scribbling furiously into another card I had bought at the shop. After finishing the letter, I still wanted to write a lot more--how did such a simple card give me so much inspiration? Unfortunately, I had to suppress my urges to write more since I had to attend my Korean language class; after class, I didn't feel that spark anymore.

I had the card displayed on my desk right now; perhaps I have found my muse for this next month.

Featured on the "i live here: SF" Project

2009-10-21T19:55:00.000-07:00

Photo part of i live here: SF set by Julie.

It's amazing what opportunities I have stumbled upon in San Francisco since moving here over two years ago. I met the wonderful Julie last Friday at the Municipal Pier to take part in her ongoing photography/story project, "i live here:SF". She started the project earlier this year and has captured some amazing photos and stories of many city transplants and locals, having them all converge through Julie's website.

Julie herself is such a kind soul; we walked along the Municipal Pier, which was one of my old haunts when I used to live by Fisherman's Wharf. The morning was foggy, which at first I was a little disappointed with, but Julie was so easy to work with, staying positive about how the fog gives a certain glow to the photos. She greeted people who walked by with a nod and a grin, and in many ways, I felt honored to be in her presence with her warm spirit.

The photo shoot was my first, but I felt comfortable enough throughout the hour-or-so session. As the hour progressed, the fog lifted quietly from the Bay and soon we were greeted with the muggy sunshine of the day. We ended the shoot by celebrating the spirit of the Wharf: eating crab/shrimp sandwiches from the street vendors there. It was a pleasant way to end the session, and I was glad to be able to work with Julie. I hope to work with her more in the future.

View the full entry and photo shoot.

Magnet Poetry

2009-10-18T13:32:00.000-07:00

I've had these magnetic sets of words for probably over ten years now--only in the past year did I decide to finally break them out and use them on my refrigerator. I stuck some words together last year, thinking they sounded clever, and didn't think much of them until last night, when a friend was reading over the "poems" and said, "Wow, how thought-provoking!"

The poem she was referring to:

Could Virtue Cry
Other Sublime Sight
Guarantee Moon Until Twilight
Whether Death Together

Another poem I read out loud and never realized it rhymed until last night:

Timbuktu Never Uptight
When Above Kalamazoo
Sing The Fight

And not to leave out anything from the picture above, the last poem featured in the bottom part of the picture:

Oh Bad Afternoon
Try By Desire
Art Kissed Time
Too Blue Smile

I'm sure there have been some pretty good poems constructed out of those magnetic sets; I just threw together some words that sounded okay together, not really thinking about any of it. Then again, I suppose that's the best way to get inspired: just let the unconscious (subconscious?) open mind take over.

Ray of hope on the morning commute--

2009-10-13T14:15:00.000-07:00

7:13am, October 13, 2009.

The first big rain of the season; I stepped onto the 5-Fulton bus for my usual commute and felt like I had just battled a true typhoon. I went to my favorite seat immediately and settled down.

There were a couple of men talking about San Francisco; they were both recent transplants to the city, so they were making comparisons of their previous locations to The City. I felt like it was just a simple exchange of a few words, so I drifted off into my own thoughts, and onto a warm slumber during the 40-minute commute.

Rain poured outside while our bus driver perilously navigated the slick streets; meanwhile the two men continued to talk across the aisle with each other, until one, who introduced himself as "James", decided he would just sit beside his new companion, who said his name was "Jack".

As the bus continued on towards downtown, more passengers boarded with gloomy expressions over the unexpected rain. However, through the gray faces, Jack and James seemed to melt into their own world, sharing their life stories with one another.

Somehow, that small scene from this morning has stuck with me all day--that, amidst all the recent negative Muni coverage, there are still small beams of hope shining through all the mess.

Countdown to NaNoWriMo 2009

2009-10-07T22:12:00.001-07:00

This year has to be the first time I've felt so excited for NaNoWriMo so "early". I've gone ahead and bought some merchandise, donated a small bit to the OLL, etc. The one thing I haven't done, though (and it seems like most of my NaNo comrades started all these preparations long ago) is actually figure out what I'm going to write for the whole month of November.

This will be my fifth novel since I'd started up a couple of non-NaNo novels this year and last year; for all the novels I have written these past two years, I have noticed that I write my best (maybe worst?) when I just don't have a plan for what the story will be like. I'd have an inkling of what I wanted to write, but I wouldn't map out the whole plot, the characters, etc. For me, I feel like if I did this, I would be boxing in my imagination and end up having a major Writer's Block early on in the month.

That's why, for this third NaNoWriMo, I'm going to continue with this method of mine and see where it takes me. Who knows, I may write in a genre that I had claimed to be averse to in the past. My imagination needs to run wild first before I think to tame it after all.

So, do you have a plan for NaNoWriMo yet? If so, what's it going to be?

P.S., feel free to find me on the NaNoWriMo website--my username is "heriko".

Equation: Music + Writing = Focus

2009-10-04T10:59:00.000-07:00

Since I have been working on essays lately (for graduate school applications), I have found myself only able to focus when I listen to certain albums on my iTunes. In general, these albums are all-around good for writing of any sort (my novels, short stories, and essays):

1) Dir en grey - Withering to death.
2) Dir en grey - UROBOROS
3) Dir en grey - VULGAR
4) Lady GaGa - The Fame
5) Drip - Identity Theft
6) La Roux - La Roux

I'm most able to concentrate and get my work done with Dir en grey albums, though. I can't quite explain it, but I'm under the impression that there's some sort of algorithm that they use in their album track lists to make people zone in (or zone out). I've found that the three albums listed above have served best in my writing endeavors, though.

For the longest time, I thought I could only focus on writing/doing work with classical music on. Guess I was wrong!

Books From My Childhood

2009-09-20T19:33:00.000-07:00

The other day, I suddenly had a thought about some books from my childhood. I remember when I was younger, I was touched by the powerful messages that some books conveyed. The two books that I can remember to this day are Shel Silverstein's The Giving Tree and Robert N. Munsch's Love You Forever.

I really liked these two books for the deeper meaning that they had. They both had the storyline of loving others unconditionally, no matter what they do or do not do for you in return. I remember I might have let a few tears shed when I read these books; they were simple yet complex in their own nature.

I don't keep up with children's books these days, but I feel like these two books in particular should always be timeless and part of any child's bookshelf, no matter what generation they are in.

"If you could..."

2009-09-17T23:15:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I was in an inquisitive mood and asked a colleague about her flute gigs/performances. "If you could make enough money off of it, would you make it your full-time job?" I asked her this since she was talking enthusiastically about a great recital she performed at recently with a new accompanist. I saw the light in her eyes grow brighter as she talked about how the performance left her feeling so happy and satisfied. I could tell that her true passion lay with her musical abilities.

The conversation gave me a lift in my already elevated mood; at the same time, though, it left me feeling somber about how reality hits all of us hard a lot. Many of us can't do our true passion's work full-time because it's not stable income (and sadly oftentimes it is all about the money). Therefore, we go about having "day jobs" and then working on our true passion after we clock out from our day jobs. That's how it goes in the artist's world, it seems.

There are only a lucky few of us who either can make it, i.e., become well-known/famous, and quit their day jobs for what they love to do, or those of us who end up not caring so much about the money aspect and just go about with their artistic pursuits in pure bliss.

There are many times I think of these last two possibilities; many times, the second possibility leans on my mind more as I become more and more restless with everything. It's not that I don't enjoy what I'm doing at work now; I do enjoy it all and my co-workers/supervisors keep the atmosphere fresh and fun. But, in my mind, I feel a general restlessness over everything--a real need for change once again. It's a natural thought that occurs within me; waiting for the next big thing.

I suppose that's why I find it hard to really live in the moment sometimes. Always looking forward or analyzing the past--wondering, when will I finish this work-in-progress? When will I finally have some time to work on revising my drafts? It all moves too slowly for me, but I am trying to understand that patience will pay off in the end. There are cultures in the world where they must wait many many years for things to really get moving in their small villages--yet they do not complain.

I shouldn't complain--I should just live in the moment, and understand that right now is not the time to worry about unfinished work. It'll get finished when the time is right.

Traveling through the year

2009-09-07T13:52:00.000-07:00

There's something about visiting a new place: it truly gives me a sense of adventure and renewed optimism. I hadn't realized how long it had been since I last traveled until I arrived at SFO this past Wednesday evening and thought, "Well, the last time I was here was in January." I'd lost track of time and had since only been traveling within San Francisco or to Sacramento to visit relatives.

It explains the restlessness I have felt for quite awhile now; the need to be on-the-move, seeing/hearing/feeling new things all around me.

In other news, it seems like some people are already gearing up for NaNoWriMo this year; it's a little under two months away now. I can't believe it's already September; the end of the year is always something I look forward to. As my brother has said, "It's when everything 'falls' into place." It's a horrible pun, but it still makes sense: a lot of things seem to happen at the end of each year, and I always look forward to the travels ahead.

Updated Website Layout & New Short Abstract

2009-08-22T22:09:00.000-07:00

I've been hit with a bout of inspiration today (or maybe this has been long coming all month). After working on the nitty-gritty "required" writing of the day, i.e., graduate school applications, I went ahead and started writing a short abstract titled "Raw Opening". After tweaking this a little, I posted it on my Scribd account and finally decided, "Well, hey, time to upload my new website layout."

So, after several months of not updating my website: Official Website

It's a little more simple than last time; can't go wrong with black & white. I keep thinking that I really need to update my skills in Photoshop and XHTML; my "About" page was giving me trouble in the updating process. It looks a little strange, but, for the time being, it'll have to do.

The background behind the abstract: really, it all started off from a small Facebook status update while I was taking a break from my applications. The "raw" part comes from two origins:

1) The fact that I wrote this point-blank, with no real edits or anybody else viewing the writing beforehand; and

2) The protagonist's own raw emotions, slowly exposing themselves over the course of the short piece.

Thoughts? Any constructive criticism and/or praise is welcome as always.

Breaking Out.

2009-08-15T19:16:00.001-07:00

Sometimes the same old thing really does become old and predictable. I look at my planner and I feel like "Oh, it's time to do this or that." And then I find myself grumbling and feeling like "Can't I just not do it?"

There aren't any real consequences when I break away from the mundane tasks of my weekends. Today, I went out and just walked around downtown, did some people-watching, and just reflected. I had a small notebook with me, and took down notes about anything that was flying around in my mind.

I found myself perching at different places of the city that I rarely visit. It's good to get a fresh change of scenery, even if all I'm doing at these different places is walking or sitting, watching people and just thinking about life.

With events from this past week, I found myself inspired to write a small flash piece. It was only 938 words, but that's just the first draft; I'm sure I can expand upon the piece when I go back and edit/rewrite.

Here's to another day.

"How's Your Writing?"

2009-08-13T06:34:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, one of my co-workers had asked me about how my writing's been coming along. At first I answered, "It's nonexistent," but then I took those words back immediately and thought a little more carefully about my response.

I wouldn't say it's nonexistent--everyday I'm writing in my paperback journals, and sometimes, even writing myself emails--it's more like my outlet for sharing my work is on hiatus. I write daily, but more about my own feelings than anything else.

I've been brewing ideas about how to go about my rewrite for Novel 1, but it seems the ideas need some time to incubate. Also, I've realized in the past month that it's just futile to beat myself up over not reaching so many mini-goals that I set for myself on a daily basis. It all stems from the fact that I am a perfectionist, and when I don't accomplish everything I want to accomplish during a certain period of time, I feel at a loss.

Well, no more. These days I'm trying to let things slide a little, to just take things a little more easily so I don't burn out my motivation and my creative juices.

There's a time and place for everything. When my creative muse wants to come back and knock on my door again, I'll be ready.

Quiet Writing Days & Muni Diaries Submissions

2009-08-07T23:15:00.000-07:00

Things have been relatively quiet on the writing front lately; not much writing in terms of leisure/pleasure, but exercising my writing muscle at work and through academic essays. I've been also reading a lot, flying through a book per week on average. Reading for speed isn't a big goal of mine, but I find myself feeling quite satisfied when I'm able to pick up a book that's THAT good that I can't even put it down for a moment.

I've had a few of my older blog posts featured over at Muni Diaries, a local flavor blog on the wonderful public transportation system here. It's been one of my favorite blogs to read ever since I discovered it via Twitter about a month or two ago; it's just nice and amusing to read what others have to say/think about their daily bus rides. There's always something new to write about when riding on the bus anyway: new characters for future writing, interesting conversations picked up, etc.

And in other news, I somehow must have missed the sudden increase, but I just checked and found that I had 15 new fans on my Facebook Page. That's a rather big jump from the last time I visited the page. It's great to see that people are checking in on my works (albeit, I haven't posted recently); just 70 more fans to go before I can customize my URL for my page. It's not so important, but it'll make my Page a little more personable, right?

Book Genre Preferences

2009-07-18T12:00:00.000-07:00

You know, it'd been awhile since I had read a book for leisurely purposes. Throughout the last half of high school and all of college, I put my hobby of reading on hiatus to concentrate on reading school textbooks. Six months after college, I decided I would make up for all that time by compiling a book list for myself.

In general, I'm open to almost anything in all aspects of life. It's the same thing with books: I had no real idea what kind of genres I preferred since I had taken such a long leave-of-absence form reading, so I just asked my friends and family for any book recommendations they had.

As of this past week, my book list is at 330+ books (yikes!) Of course, I've been adding onto the list ever since last January, so that explains the huge number of books on the list. I read 26 books last year, and so far have read 16 books this year. From these 40some books, I notice where my preferences lie: in self-help, nonfiction, and general fiction. I have a lot of books on my still to-read list from all sorts of genres, but it seems that I find books in the three aforementioned categories most enjoyable.

There's obviously nothing wrong with other genres I haven't read/don't prefer to read. It's just, I tend to enjoy books that make me think a little more past what I already know. Many of my peers/friends prefer books in the Science Fiction/Fantasy, or Chick Lit genres. While I may not prefer reading those kinds of books, I wouldn't say I would never read anything from those genres.

Cutting Down The Duties--

2009-07-16T19:20:00.000-07:00

I've come to a big realization the past week: it's really no surprise, but I admit I am quite a perfectionist. It's come to the point that I notice how many goals I set each day and how all these little goals continuously stress me out to no end.

Last Tuesday evening, I was sipping on some Good Earth Tea; it's a nice brand of tea since it also features quotations on each tea bag tag. I got a quotation last week that really stung me (in a good way) for its truthfulness/relevance to my situation:

"Artists who seek perfection in everything are those who cannot attain it in anything."
- Eugene Delacroix

Every day, I'm making lists, it seems, with all these lists and goals I create, I'm just making myself feel worse over things that don't get "finished". This flows through everything I do, including my writing. I feel disappointed when I'm unable to get some writing done, e.g., some sort of progress on my Novel 1 rewrite.

So, I've decided to cut back on a lot of things to get myself back into a better state of mind. For one, I have reduced my blogs down to just this one and my Cinnamon Juice food blog; I was working on Photo 365 for the past six months, but, since May, I'd fallen behind and found myself constantly in need of "catching up". It's still like that with Cinnamon Juice, but, well, there's no need to feel like I need to catch up on things all the time.

I suppose the same can be said about many things in life.

Cell-phone novels: A Fad or More?

2009-07-11T22:52:00.000-07:00

I read about cell-phone novels in the latest issue of The Writer Magazine, and honestly, I hadn't even thought about cell-phone novels before the article (didn't even know they existed). According to the article, this genre really took off in Japan (not surprised), and is just now starting to catch on in the US (isn't it always like that when it comes to technology/trends?). The point of a cell-phone novel is material posted serially via, you guessed it, cell-phones. 140 characters per post--sounds like Twitter to me. Two websites, Quillpill and Textnovel have popped up in the US serving this genre: post your clips on the sites, get user feedback, and, possibly win a prize for a well-written cell-phone novel.

I think this genre has potential, but it also seems too early to tell since I had never even heard of this genre before I read the article. Since the article was featured in The Writer Magazine, I'm not sure if non-writing folk know of this genre just yet.

For some people, reading novels on a cellphone works for them; for me, I still prefer to hold an old-fashioned book and read that way. I am sure there is still a considerable number of people who prefer to read books the old-fashioned way.

Also, I took a look at the two websites earlier and my first impression of both places (in terms of layout/usability of the site) was not so great. Quillpill had a cleaner look than Textnovel, but Quillpill was also pretty dark with colors. Textnovel uses lighter colors, but I can't help but feel like the colors don't work so well in usability either. The point of the websites is not to show off great layouts, but still...when it comes to drawing people in to use their services, it'd be better to have layouts that are usable and attractive to some sense.

But, that's besides the point of what Quillpill and Textnovel are offering. Would I consider signing up with one of the websites to try things out? Well, I'd consider it, but I believe I could do the same (write a "cell-phone"/serial novel) via Twitter. The difference between Twitter and the other two sites is that Twitter doesn't have the votes/feedback options. Textnovel offers a contest for the best written cell-phone novel, and one Textnovel writer is actually in the process of getting her novel published traditionally. Sounds like a good deal, right?

I'll probably wait on this prospect since I'm already bogged down by my backlog of blog entries and other writing projects. I already post little clips of potential stories to Twitter, so I'm not sure if I'd be able to utilize Quillpill or Textnovel fully. Would you try these services out? Do you think the cell-phone novel can survive?

Quiet Holiday.

2009-07-04T19:34:00.000-07:00

I've spent Independence Day doing nothing overly festive. I had an early celebration meal with my brother in the morning: grilled some steak and had broccoli and yams. Other than that, nothing out of the ordinary; just another regular day to me. It's not that I'm not patriotic; mainly, I continue to think about the crowds out, and how difficult it'd be to get home after seeing fireworks at the Wharf.

Last year, I was lucky enough to be able to watch the fireworks from my apartment window since I lived right by Pier 39. That was fun, considering I could have spent that time out with the crowds instead.

The year before, I watched the fireworks from the Lone Mountain Campus at USF. In 2006, I was in Japan, and I remember one of my classmates said to me, "Happy America Day!" That year, I "celebrated" by going to a pizza parlor in Harajuku with one of my friends. We decided we should celebrate by eating something typically American.

Well, hope everyone has had a good holiday in the US today.

Ryu Murakami's "Coin Locker Babies": Drawing in an Audience

2009-07-03T13:12:00.000-07:00

For the past week, I've been engrossed in Coin Locker Babies by Ryu Murakami (see the picture, left). My friend had shown it to me about a month ago, and, just by reading the front cover flap, I felt intrigued by the subject matter.

The book is roughly 300+ pages, but already I'm nearing the end of the book after only reading it for one week. The first sentence immediately drew me in, and, although a few parts have been a little slow in reading (Murakami likes to focus on descriptions/lists), the book in general has been very satisfying for me to read.

It's books like these that make me feel really inspired: the writer takes a unique topic, twists it into this fantastical plot, and keeps going with it. Murakami is really talented in drawing the audience into the book fully. Although I haven't read any of his other works yet, the reviews I have come across for his other novels have been nothing but positive ones.

I have to admit, the subject matter in this book may not be for those who get a queasy stomach (some parts become a bit too graphic), but it's all very well written. I didn't even realize that this book was meant to be somewhat "futuristic" until I noticed the story's timeframe and the publication date of the novel (the novel was published in 1980; the story is set in the late 1980s).

I'm certainly looking forward to reading more of Murakami's works, and I do believe I have found some spot of inspiration from this reading episode.

Unexplainable: Michael Jackson-related incident

2009-06-27T16:54:00.000-07:00

It's been a couple days since Michael Jackson passed away, and all the world/blogosphere is still buzzing away about the death. It's still very hard for me to believe that the man died at the still-young age of 50; I remember growing up listening to his music and watching old music videos of the Jackson 5 on VH1. My siblings and I used to aspire to learn all the dance moves and found ourselves garbling together the lyrics of songs such as "Dancing Machine" and "Don't Stop 'til You Get Enough".

The point of this entry is not simply to remember Jackson, but to also present a strange incident that occurred to me on the morning of the 25th:

It was just a normal Thursday morning for me; hopped onto the bus, took my 40-minute commute downtown. I crossed Market Street and was walking towards the office building when, out of the corner of my eye, I spied a character dressed up strangely: the man was wearing a Michael Jackson-esque outfit, similar to what Jackson wore for his "Thriller" video. At first, I thought the guy was just dressed up weirdly and I shrugged it off as being "Oh, this is San Francisco; I've seen weird characters before." But then, I studied the man's outfit a little longer, and I realized that, in fact, he was intentionally dressing up as Michael Jackson, with the single white glove and everything. I didn't study the man's face too long; this whole little incident only took probably a minute out of my time that morning. It was 8 AM PST.

Michael Jackson was taken to the hospital around 12 PM PST. He died around 3 PM PST.

So, then, how did that man know? What was the purpose of that man dressing up as Michael Jackson so early in the morning? Did he somehow know? Was he deemed a "crazy man" but, in actuality, has psychic powers?

I hadn't even thought much of that morning incident until the news broke of Jackson's death and then, suddenly, that image of the man from the morning came back to me, and I felt myself growing spooked.

I don't know if I'll ever know what that man had meant by the outfit, but it sure gave me something unexpected to ponder upon.

Flipping through Novel 2 & Anticipating NaNoWriMo 2009.

2009-06-21T16:55:00.000-07:00

As the saying goes, "Better late than never."

After putting off any progress related to my later works, i.e., Novels 2 & 3, I finally got around to printing out the first draft manuscript of Dark Prayer's Song aka Novel 2. I'm currently in the midst of reading the entire manuscript to refresh my memory on what the novel is about. It's been hard trying not to let my Inner Editor come out and say "Man, this piece is not so great." It took me roughly 10 months to finish that novel, mainly because I went through a big block during the middle of 2008 (I began writing the novel last January). There were a lot of tumultuous things going on in my personal life at that point anyway; once NaNoWriMo 2008 rolled around, though, I re-gained my inspiration again to finish up that novel. Writing "The End" to a manuscript is always a big accomplishment.

Speaking of NaNoWriMo: although it's still four months away, I'm already feeling excited for this year's event. It'll be my fifth novel to write, and, well, who knows where this one will take me? With all my novel projects so far, I have been trying to dive into different genres to feel out my writing voice. They're all experiments, as beautiful (and sometimes ugly) they may be. In the end, there's no real regret for any of the projects; they've all been good learning experiences. I'll write on-the-fly again this year with NaNoWriMo; it's better that way for me anyway. Although I'm usually known to be one who makes lists/plans a lot, when it comes to writing, I just want to write and let it flow instead of pre-judging/overanalyzing how I'm going to go about it.

Really, just write; that's all there is to it.

Resurfacing.

2009-06-13T14:35:00.001-07:00

I was MIA this past month due to a slew of events: family visiting, new projects at work, and, simply, the continuing Writer's Block. I didn't complete Writo de Mayo again; I probably quit earlier this year than last year due to the unforeseen busy weeks in May.

However, this past week I have been trying to get myself back into writing again with some exercises from The Pocket Muse. It's a good change of pace from reading all the reference/self-help books I'd read in the past month; after awhile, my mind turns to mush if I read too much of similar material. I need to get back to reading fiction again.

This next week, I anticipate finally printing out the first drafts of Novels 2 & 3, Dark Prayer's Song and Time Abroad. I've also revisited my plot for Novel 1, Writing the Past, and realize that probably part of the reason why I've avoided revising the novel is because I'm still a little iffy over the restructured plot.

Slowly, but surely, things will get done.

Too many goals? & Author Photos

2009-05-11T09:52:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I took some time off from the Internet and a lot of things that might have been keeping me stressed. It felt so nice to relax a bit and not think about things that I "needed" to do. I spent all of Saturday just reading and working out to my Wii games. Sometimes it's best to just slow down and relax, enjoy the present.

I've been reading a couple of self-help books lately, and one line from Dave Ramsey's The Total Money Makeover has struck a chord with me: to successfully accomplish something, one must have focus and take small steps at a time. It's not the exact wording of the phrase, but that's the general idea. It's stayed on my mind for a couple of days because it has made me wonder if the reason why I haven't made much strides in my writing projects is because I haven't had focus. I've set out a lot of goals for myself in the field of writing, and a lot of them I've been attempting to work at simultaneously, e.g., finishing the first draft of Novel 4 and rewriting Novel 1. Aside from those two big goals, I've had smaller goals as well: blog daily in each of my blogs (three of them!), write reviews on Yelp! as often as possible, and so on. The smaller goals have become more habitual just because they are daily things for me; however, even with those, I have fallen behind.

It's probably due to the fact that I keep just giving a little progress into each area, so it feels slow and frustrating right now. I wonder if I should reduce the amount of goals I have and try to just focus on one. What is more important to me right now?

In other news, late last week I finally received my author photos from NaNoWriMo's "Night of Writing Dangerously". I had nearly forgotten about those photos until I saw the email in my inbox; they were initially supposed to be ready by February, but they probably got backlogged in their work. No worries; I was still glad to see the high-quality pictures. I'll be posting them up on my website and my profiles as soon as I crop them down a little (they are very large files). I think it's time to update my author photos anyway; haven't updated in awhile! The pink jacket can only hold the audience's attention for so long.

Here's to (hopefully) a productive week ahead.

Writo De Mayo, Day 4

2009-05-04T06:51:00.000-07:00

Well, today is technically "Day 1" for me in terms of actually writing so far this month. However, Writo De Mayo officially began over at the NaNoLJers community on May 1, so yes, I am a little behind. I wrote a little bit in Novel 4 right now, and, when sending the draft to my email account (as a back-up), I noticed that the last time I worked on the novel was at the beginning of March. Yikes, has it really been two months?

I was stuck in a sort of limbo over the weekend, and only today am I able to focus a little better. I couldn't fully sleep the past two nights since I found myself adjusting to yet another new schedule due to my brother's changing shifts at work. It's unfortunate that I am a light sleeper, that any light noise wakes me up and keeps me up for some time.

I finally finished Catch-22 late last week, and all I have to say about that book is that it's confusing. It's probably a more enjoyable read for people who enjoy reading anti-war books; not to say that I like reading pro-war books, but that genre in general isn't of interest to me. Plus, the whole book itself was a huge contradiction/Catch-22. That was probably the whole point of the book; well, it was decent enough to read for a month, but I probably won't go back and read it again anytime soon. I'm back to reading some nonfiction this time around; a couple of self-help books to shake things up.

I'm hoping I'll be able to update a little more this month due to the Writo De Mayo challenge. I need to pull together more motivation to get this writing done. I have no problems writing daily entries at my other blogs, but somehow, I just can't muster enough strength to get back to writing fiction. Gotta keep plowing through somehow.

The First of May.

2009-05-01T23:05:00.000-07:00

I woke up late today to a different world: outside, there was rain, which is not so common for San Francisco at this point in the year. The temperature wasn't too bad, but after awhile, the wind picked up.

It was as if the rain came around to wash away the worries and stress of the month of April, and starting off the month of May with new life. I suppose May showers are better than April ones.

End of the Poem-A-Day Challenge

2009-04-30T20:12:00.000-07:00

Well, I managed to pull through the finish line by catching up on my log of poems last night. I wrote my last poem this morning, and felt a sense of accomplishment wash over me. Sure, most of the poems I wrote this month for the Poem-A-Day Challenge were really rough (I didn't go back and revise any of them before I posted them on the Poetic Asides Blog), but just knowing I pulled through--it's an accomplishment regardless. Just like the whole spirit of NaNoWriMo really, except, well, the rough drafts are shown to the writing world.

Here are a couple of my works-in-progress from the challenge; they're from prompts for 1) writing a haiku, and 2) writing a sestina, respectively. On those days, we were to choose between two prompts: to either write in those styles, or write about them. I chose the second option for both days.

-----------------------------------------

“How to say it?”
Pronunciation is the key
Hey, Ku,
No, no, HI Coo
Hay, Q?
No, not balloon.
Haiku.

-----------------------------------------

“What?”
Honest to goodness
Call me ignorant, but yes
I don’t even know.

-----------------------------------------

More or less, I found it ironic/amusing that I managed to write a haiku for the day I was supposed to write a sestina.

Well, it was at least fun to participate in the whole challenge, even if I did fall behind most of the time. Now, onto May and Writo de Mayo.

More on Goals & Editing Pet Peeves

2009-04-23T13:04:00.000-07:00

May is just around the corner, which causes for me to feel anxious about re-evaluating my time and my goals. I've probably been in this steady state of doing little-to-no writing because I haven't been focusing on concrete goals lately. Instead of saying "I will write for xx minutes today," I've just been thinking "I need to write, period."

It's not much of a motivation booster if you ask me. All those goal-setting worksheets, articles, etc. that I've read/worked on over the years have always said, "Make your goals concrete and realistic." I thought maybe the Poem-A-Day Challenge would kick me up from my writing rut a bit, but I've fallen behind on the challenge a lot this month. Perhaps it's a sign that I'm not quite as interested in poetry as I'd like to be.

On another note, lately I've noticed that one of my big writing/reading pet peeves is when supposed professionals make bad typos/grammar mistakes. It happens to the best of us, but where was the editor or peer before the article/writing went out? I find that when I edit others' works, sometimes I'll notice the grammar/spelling mistakes more than the actual writing itself. It bothers me that much--I remember reading a paper in college for peer review and I felt in true disbelief about how my colleague was able to even gain admission into college. Really, the paper was poorly written--a lot of run-on sentences, grammatical errors, etc.--I felt bad when I gave the paper back to my peer because it had all red marks over it.

Meanwhile, this leads into another pet peeve of mine: when I ask for constructive criticism from others, but they simply return my draft back saying "Wow, really good" or "Nothing needs to be changed" or something else along those lines. Often times, these people might just be too lazy to say much or really put effort into the editing process; other times, they might be so clouded in judgment (and maybe automatically put a halo over my work) that they tend to not see the loopholes I've left in my draft. The most helpful writing advice often borders harsh, yet has enough evidence to back up the criticism. I'd rather someone tell me what I need to work on more than to tell me that I don't need to change anything anymore. I know I'm not a perfect writer, and, in general, everyone always has something they can improve upon.

A Quiet Note (Nightmares, Catch-up, etc.)

2009-04-20T06:30:00.000-07:00

Since Friday, I've been having nightmares, and I already know the reason why they've been occurring. A lot of things have been unsettling in my day-to-day life, and I'm under a considerable amount of stress trying to make decisions.

I fell behind on the whole Poem-A-Day Challenge this past week due to other things going on (excuses, excuses). Yesterday, I managed to catch up to Day 16; most of the poems have been tepid still, but just have to keep writing. I had also fell behind on my Cinnamon Juice Blog, but I caught up for the most part. Yesterday was the only day all weekend that I was able to sit down properly and write for quite a bit. I have a feeling days like yesterday may be far and few for awhile.

And that's about it for now; April will wrap up in ten days, so I wonder if I'll be ready for May's challenges by the end of next week. These past two months have been difficult in terms of producing new stories/motivation for rewriting. But, can't feel any regret from the "time lost"; just keep moving forward.

Craving spontaneity & Setting Goals

2009-04-11T14:22:00.000-07:00

Today seems to be a day where routine is simply thrown out the window: I have a list of tasks that I'd like to complete for the day, but it seems I just don't feel like doing it. During this whole past week, I've been feeling restless again and craving spontaneity.

I've also found myself crawling out of some dark mazes with renewed inspiration for writing ideas. Yesterday, while proctoring a test at work, I suddenly found a long-incubating idea sprout forth from my mind and furiously wrote down the whole thought. The incident made me realize that I should really bring a bigger notebook along with me from now on, for future moments like this one.

An hour ago, I caught up on this past week's prompts from the Poem-A-Day Challenge. Poetry is one area of writing where I feel I may never truly excel in, but that doesn't mean I can't still write for the fun of it. Probably the whole point of the P-A-D Challenge is to hone my craft a little more, but I find that I'm just writing for the sake of writing. It's that whole NaNoWriMo mindset--just get the words down. However, I have been posting my poems on each day's thread at the challenge, so, unlike NaNoWriMo, I'm showing those rough drafts to the world. Raw, unfiltered poems: I suppose it's my specialty.

Speaking of community challenges: I signed myself up for the 2nd annual Writo de Mayo over at the NaNoLJers community. What makes Writo de Mayo different from NaNoWriMo is that each participant sets his/her own goals for the month of May and strives to meet them for the month. I tried participating last year by attempting to finish Novel #2 that month; however, it was much harder for me to pull the motivation through the month since I didn't have others posting their word counts, fueling me along. I still managed to make some progress on that novel, but not enough to finish it off that month. This year, I intend on completing Novel #4 in May and also pumping out 50 hours of rewriting for Novel #1 (which would have been an appropriate goal for last month, NaNoEdMo, had I not been so distracted by other things).

So there, I've set out my goals for all my blog visitors to read. Now I must follow through with these ambitions and put them into action in the coming weeks.

Floating Words

2009-04-07T12:23:00.000-07:00

There have been a few words in my mind lately; here's a random list of them all:

gait
spindly
abrupt
forlorn
red
despite
ironic
perfect
spike
common

Perhaps a new story is brewing in the noggin.

Homeless man and his luggage.

2009-04-03T19:37:00.000-07:00

While on the bus ride home today, a homeless man boarded the bus with several pieces of luggage. He had a band-aid across his nostrils and he kept getting in the way of others since his luggage was quite cumbersome. I was sitting in a window seat and trying to read to distract myself from his presence near me. I feared that the woman beside me would leave and then the man would sit down beside me since I was sitting in one of the "wider" seats, i.e., there was more space between my row and the row in front.

My fear came true as I watched my bus mate stand up and exit through the back door of the bus. The man took that opportunity to stake the claim on the seat (well, he asked others first if they wanted to sit); he proceeded to box me into my window seat with his luggage and then he sat down beside me. I scooted closer to the window and attempted to stay as far away from him as possible. I was feeling slightly paranoid since we had been talking at work about strange characters in the city, so I held my guard up in case the guy would try to swipe my belongings.

Around ten blocks before my stop, I stopped reading so I could focus on where I was; the guy noticed I was finished reading and assumed I was getting off soon. "Getting off?" he asked me. I shook my head "No" and he then said, "Oh okay, well let me know when you're getting off so I can move my stuff; you don't want me to fall asleep and leave you trapped!"

My guard was still up, but after a few seconds, I realized the guy was pretty harmless. He began to ask me about what book I was reading (Catch-22) and he mused, "It's been awhile since I've read a book, but I used to love reading so much." I relaxed and shook my head as he had a monologue (I think he got the hint that I was not overly interested in talking with him, sadly) about his past love for reading, and then talking about painkillers numbing him.

Once it was time for my stop, the man moved his belongings over to another seat so that I would have a clear path to get out of the bus. I had pulled out a small snack from my lunch bag, intending to give it to him, but since he moved to a row further up in the bus, the opportunity already seemed lost. When he settled into his new seat with his bags, he looked exhausted.

I boarded off the bus and felt a twinge of sadness as I watched him go on his way. I wonder where he was headed; towards the beach? Towards the far edge of Golden Gate Park? In many ways, he reminded me of my short story "Riches to Rags" and I wondered about his life story.

Reflection upon writing

2009-04-02T19:45:00.000-07:00

As I look around me, not only do the seasons change, but again, I find myself looking within and wondering where the time has gone.

I at least got some time in yesterday with the Poem-A-Day Challenge at Poetic Asides. It just feels nice to get some words down, even if they're not the best. It's a little nerve wracking having others read my work-in-progress poem, but it's also humbling. I believe that oftentimes the best work may be created on a whim with only the thoughts of the moment; in other words, no real thinking. It may be a controversial view for me to express, but at least for myself I find this theory true. When I didn't put much thought into writing for NaNoWriMo, I just found the words flying out with abandon and filling up the pages of my novel. Some parts I could have done without, but other parts surprised me with how they came about at the spur of the moment.

Living in the moment is the best, after all.

Set aside; time for poetry (again)?

2009-03-29T11:39:00.001-07:00

Halt.

Screeching.

The month of March is winding down in a couple of days, and April will then begin. This month has been quite a bit of coasting without writing. Then again, a lot of changes in my environment have been happening. It's not an excuse; merely an observation.

Today I shuffled away my folder of short story drafts into my writing file; it was taking up space on my desk. I find it hard to focus when I have something in my presence (e.g., my writing on my desk) which my subconscious knows I should be progressing upon but I'm not; therefore, I just need it out of my sight for the time being. I've stopped penning in time for my rewrite the past couple of weeks; maybe I just need a refresher, some time away from all the writing. Well, at least, time away from the longer pieces.

I signed up for April's Poem-A-Day Challenge on Facebook (via friend Robert Brewer); last year, I wrote a poem a day during the month of June, completely unaware that a challenge in April was available for me to participate in. These days, poetry is harder to write since I'm so used to writing longer passages. When I was younger, after I put my short story experiments away (perhaps it's a cycle...), I dabbled in poetry for a couple years, writing up short books of poetry to print out and show to my family and friends. Then, that poetry phase went away as well...

We'll see how the month of April pans out with this challenge. Sometimes I just need to have that feeling that others around the world are doing the same thing with me, that I can't just put it off "for another day". Here's hoping for some sparks to come through.

The irony of the months.

2009-03-22T13:37:00.000-07:00

It seems like I hit a bit of a dry spell each month when it comes to overall inspiration. No, I wouldn't think it's because of "that" time of the month, but it seems to be a monthly thing for me nonetheless. Last month, around this same time, I lost motivation/inspiration for doing much writing or anything else that involved creativity. And here I am, one month later, feeling about the same. My grocery shopping this week has been uninspired, yawn-inducing for me.

It's ironic to me, in many ways: lately I have been doing more things that are out-of-the-ordinary from my routine, e.g., going out and discovering different local events. Most of the time, I go out alone since I feel a strange sense of comfort for doing things on my own rather than having a friend around and feeling like I have to accommodate their wishes. There's just more of a sense of freedom involved when I am able to decide what I want to do with my free time.

So, one would think that with the explorations I have done recently, I would find some inspiration for writing, for cooking, and so forth. But no, not really; it's already good enough that I'm able to find material to continue to blog with, but in terms of writing stories/finally beginning on that rewrite of Novel 1, I hit a block. Same goes for cooking.

Some say there's no such thing as Writer's Block; the muse is just missing, and I just have to hunt it down in order to start writing again.

Planting Thoughts & Fountains of Conversation

2009-03-17T09:34:00.000-07:00

This day has already started off on a strangely nice note.

I was perhaps a little groggy this morning before my commute; couldn't muster up enough energy to have a full-blown workout so I did yoga instead. I didn't even have my morning tea or coffee before I hopped onto the bus...

While on the bus, I immediately whipped out the book I've been reading, Three Cups of Tea, which one of my sisters had recommended to me. I began reading this book last Monday and already I'm over halfway through with the book. It's a truly inspirational read, and what makes it even more inspirational/invigorating to my spirit is that it all is true. I was reading Chapter 15, which was about Mr. Greg Mortenson in action with building more schools in Pakistan (after the initial school in Korphe was completed). It's a series of encounters that were destined, of meetings that were more than mere coincidences.

The chapter planted a thought in my head as I prepared to get off the bus; I was lost in this thought for a few seconds when suddenly I was jarred back to reality by a kind fellow bus rider's comment about the book I held in my hands. "That is quite a wonderful read, isn't it?" the man said to me. I was taken aback by his comment, but I nodded quickly in acknowledgement. By that point, we were both getting off the bus, so there was no time to really seek a further conversation. That small encounter itself was enough to put me in a good mood....

And then, I entered into the building where I work, and the bodyguard downstairs was a different person from the usual morning bodyguard. She stopped me before I went up the elevator and also made a comment about the book I held in my hands. "Wow, that book, I've seen it everywhere--"

That icebreaker broke open a fountain of conversation over general life topics, how our parents' outlooks on life differ from ours, the opportunities/hardships we ourselves seek out in the circumstances we are given, and so forth. Most of the time I was just the listener in the discussion, but it was still refreshing to have such an encounter, even before work. It wasn't at all awkward, either; just good, genuine talk with a new acquaintance.

It was a great way to start off an already full day, and I can't help but keep this smile upon my face. Just goes to show that, even in this anonymous world of a city, personal touch can still exist.

Writing as a man.

2009-03-13T06:41:00.001-07:00

Over the past several months, since I've begun writing more on a daily/regular basis, I notice a lot of my protagonists tend to be male. I had admitted it before to myself, but this week my reason for this was emphasized more as I felt myself thrown into the "wonderful" moods of being a woman:

I write from the male perspective because, when I write from the female perspective, I feel overly frilly, i.e., girly. Nothing wrong with being girly, but when I read my writing (from the female standpoint), there's this sensation I feel where I'm just irritated by my words. The cliche feelings, the same struggles...

Not to say that writing from the male point of view does not have its stereotypes, but I don't play into those stereotypes as much since I myself am not a man. However, because I'm well familiar with the female gender, I know the stereotypes all too well and find that, as hard as I try to avoid the stereotypes, I play into them too well when I write.

It isn't to say that my writing may be more interesting with a male protagonist; in fact, out of the three novels I have completed so far, the one novel that seems coherent enough (in the first draft) is my first one, which has a female protagonist. With the other two completed novels and the fourth novel I'm working on, they all have male protagonists. However, the plots have been more or less complex than the first novel.

I am hoping that I will soon be able to find a good balance between writing from both male and female standpoints.

Inspiration when away from home:

2009-03-09T18:51:00.000-07:00

For the past week, I've been finding myself writing email "blurbs"/prompts to myself regarding some observations/thoughts I've made while away from my personal computer. Here are a couple I've written so far:

1. He felt fretful from watching the curtain fall across another store, closing due to the sluggish economy. He watched the workers file out of the store and he felt himself clinching his own chest, wondering what would happen to his own job eventually. His office was located on the tenth floor of the building, yet he could see clearly the faces of distraught and worried pain across the street. The Great Behemoth was falling; which would fall next?

2. Two and a half cups of coffee later...

Just some things to jump-start some future projects. I usually keep a small notebook on me when I'm on-the-go, but sometimes it's easier to type a fleeting thought than to write it down. That's just how my mind works at certain points in the day.

Winter Box of Memory Uploaded.

2009-03-08T18:34:00.000-07:00

It seems to take me some time to get through revisions for my short stories; tonight I got around to uploading another story to my website and to Scribd. This one is titled "Winter Box of Memory," and, as you can tell from the title, it has a winter/holiday theme to it since I wrote it in mid-December.

You can view the story either via Scribd (must have iPaper software/application installed) or download it as a PDF from my website. As always, feedback is appreciated at my Comments blog post.

Dripping Thoughts from The Prayer Room

2009-03-07T15:17:00.000-08:00

For the past couple of weeks, I've been focusing on Shanthi Sekaran's The Prayer Room. I met Sekaran last month at her Reading/Signing at Books Inc.; the excerpts she had read from her book built up anticipation within me to finish reading my then-current books and start on her debut novel.

This is the second time in my adulthood where I have read an author's debut work; the first time, I'd prefer not to mention at the moment since it still leaves a bad taste in my mouth. As a fellow writer, I do sincerely applaud Sekaran for her feats in becoming published and weaving together a lengthy novel. However, as a fellow writer, I can see some room for improvement in the future; and as just a reader, there are some aspects of the novel that bother me as I'm reading:

Characters' POV - From the start, I had assumed the novel would be about George, but, for most of the book, the focus actually seems to be on Viji, his Indian wife. I'm not sure if that was Sekaran's intention, to shift the POV like that. Also, I'm not sure if it's really necessary to change POV so suddenly within paragraphs/chapters among the other members of the family. It keeps the story going, but it has given me a slight wipe of confusion as I try to figure out whose POV I'm reading at the moment.
The significance of the actual puja room aka prayer room - I understand that the puja room is where Viji feels the most safe, the most comfortable. However, I don't currently understand why the spirits have to talk back to her, and why they seem to add a strange twist in humor to the overall sad mood of the novel.
False turning points - There are a few parts of the novel so far where I felt like Sekaran really wanted to build up some suspense, some sort of climax, but in the end, I felt like it all built up to nothing. For example, the Thanksgiving "breaking point"; perhaps Viji's actions were inferred the whole time, but I felt like I completely missed the point in the whole scene. Maybe I read too much of the face value and not enough between the lines.

As a reader, these are the aspects that bother me, but as a writer, I can understand the challenge of weaving together a long story. I'm still just a budding writer, so I may not be as well-versed in literary ways, but I suppose you can say I'm the average reader...and I don't really "get" some parts of the book.

But, with all said and done above, I still genuinely do like the novel so far. I'm currently in the last quarter of the book, and it has been eye-opening in some ways to culture and how families handle the mixing of two cultures. It's also refreshing to read about bits of Indian culture, since I've read more books about Asian culture/Asian-American culture before The Prayer Room.

I look forward to reading Sekaran's future work, and hope to meet her again as well.

Children Growing Up in San Francisco

2009-03-06T18:08:00.000-08:00

There were a couple of ABC (American-born Chinese) teens on the bus this afternoon, and I felt more than amused by their conversation:

Girl 1: Did you know that New Zealand is a part of Australia?
Girl 2: Everyone knew that except you.
Boy 1: May I sit here?
Girl 1: *rolls eyes* Sure, maybe...*sets her backpack down in the seat*
Boy 2: I have to go to my tutoring session today.
Girl 2: Tutoring, as in for what? Sylvan Learning Center?!
Boy 1: Hooked on Phonics? *laughs*
Girl 1: Here, sit down!
Boy 1: On your backpack? Okay, but it's going to have some butt stains on it...*laughs*
Girl 1: Did you know that New Zealand is a part of Australia?
Boy 1: I think you already said that.
Girl 1: I thought it was all the way by Hawaii!

Eavesdropping and observing their behavior, I felt like I was seeing an image of what my life could have been like if I had grown up in San Francisco. These teenagers and their lives here in San Francisco are very different from what I experienced as a teenager. However, will they end up with different perspectives in adulthood as me, or will they end up with the same perspective somehow?

Artwork and Rain Boots.

2009-03-01T14:58:00.001-08:00

Amidst the artwork and relics of Buddhism today, I was approached by two middle-aged men, peering down at my rain boots:

Man #1: Those are quite outrageous boots.
Me: (surprised by the compliment given at the museum) Why, thank you...
Man #2: Where did you buy them?
Me: Loehmann's.
Man #1: Are they rain boots? What kind of material?
Me: (lifting up one pant leg to show the rest of the boot to them) I think they're waterproof; rubber perhaps?
Man #2: Wow, they're great! How much did they cost?
Me: Oh not too bad, maybe around $40 or so.

At the end of the short conversation, they just smiled and nodded at me and then walked on through to the other exhibits in the museum. I found the whole encounter amusing merely because it was a weird place to be looking at shoes.

Shaking up the routine.

2009-02-25T18:10:00.000-08:00

Since Sunday, I've been working out of The Write-Brain Workbook, which I checked out from the library. I've had this book in my possession for a month and a half now, but only got the chance to actually peruse the book this week. I hadn't been too familiar/enthusiastic about using workbooks/prompts (sometimes they don't really help me anyway), but so far, all the exercises I have completed from this workbook have been enlightening and inspiring.

Yesterday, I wrote a piece that lasted more than the recommended ten minutes; I could have stayed writing much longer, but I had to cut it off at thirty minutes since I had to get ready for work. Soon, I'll have to go back and add to it; it's an interesting piece about sampling sodas at a fair in the middle of nowhere.

Lately, I've been feeling like a lot of my daily life has become too routine and predictable, and I'm wanting something dynamic to either happen or for me to go and do something dynamic. I made some small "progress" towards changing things up this past weekend by amusingly buying completely different items for my weekly groceries (read my food blog post about this incident). A lot of my daily life does revolve around routine; we all go through it, I suppose. My schedule is like a ticking clock, constantly: this is when I'm supposed to eat, when I'm supposed to work, sleep, et. al.... It's comfortable to have a routine, but sometimes, it also becomes mind-numbing.

So when things are shaken up, it gives new life to my days...although most of the time I end up feeling so tired/exhausted from the new adventures that I quickly return to my tried-and-true routine. I'm not sure why that's the case; but right now, I am yearning for something different yet again.

Goals Written from January

2009-02-21T18:08:00.000-08:00

I was thumbing through some notes from one of my notepads last night and came across a list of goals I had written from early last month. To my relief, I found a couple of goals that made me change my mind about how I had been feeling about self-publishing:

- Self-publish short story collection by May 2009
- Publish Novel 1 via agent

Ah, so that was what I had originally intended, at least, early last month. So, that puts me a bit more at ease, although now that I realize I had wanted to find an agent, I'm going to need to move a little faster and efficiently on revising the manuscript. Deadline for the revision: June. I don't know why I have been telling others that I will publish my novel by summertime; I probably got that mixed up with my short story collection.

I had to shake things up for myself today since I noticed that I had been stuck in a routine for the past month and a half; because of this change in routine, I got a few good sparks and have jotted down a few new notes in my to-go notebook. When I came back home from my brief outing, I was able to start some rewriting on Novel 1; hooray!

I've also been blogging like crazy, especially on my food blog, Cinnamon Juice. It's getting a little more buzz these days, thanks to a couple blog rolls and Twitter. It's good to see that people are interested in my thoughts about food and related topics.

Hoping for another productive day tomorrow.

Thoughts about "The Street-Smart Writer"

2009-02-20T19:05:00.000-08:00

Since I flew through reading my previous book, I cracked open The Street-Smart Writer this week to finally check out what Jenna Glatzer has to say. One of my sisters mentioned this book to me since I was growing confused about how to go about with publishing/sending my work out.

I have to admit, reading this book has made me feel depressed over what I had hoped to do with my novels (self-publishing). I'm not saying I'll completely rule out that option yet, but the advice/tips in the book have been big reality checks for me. All of it has made me wonder what it is that I want to achieve out of becoming published. It'd be nice to have a bestseller, but that's not the sole reason why I want to be published. I want others to enjoy my work, to be able to understand how my characters feel and whether or not they can relate to those characters.

When I embarked on this mission late last year, I wasn't being foolish; I knew that the road to getting published/building my foundation in the writing world would be a long and sometimes frustrating journey. However, that's how most things are like in life, no matter how different the subject matter may be: job hunting, establishing a romantic relationship, etc. It's not all different from the life of an unpublished writer striving to become published. We all go through the same kinds of hardships, but in the end, if it's something important to us, it'll be worth all the tough times.

So, even though some of the topics listed in this book have made me feel slightly discouraged, I know it's just a bump in the road, and that, by reading this book, hopefully I will prevent too many mishaps from happening to me in the "preditor" world.

Muse Gone MIA; flying through books.

2009-02-16T19:07:00.000-08:00

All weekend long, I wasn't able to feel much inspiration to work on Novel 4 nor move along the progress in Novel 1's editing/revision stages. I suppose my muse has gone on vacation for the time being, but I only hope he or she will come back to me soon enough.

During this past week, I have been flying through some books that I checked out from the library. I finished reading Shirley Fong-Torres' The Woman Who ATE Chinatown and am currently wrapping up Martha Brockenbrough's Things That Make Us [sic]. Both books have been insightful and good breaks from reading fiction (Stanley G. West's Blind Your Ponies was a huge project to finish up anyway...). However, as my habit has become, I'll need to get back to reading some more fiction soon since I'm feeling slightly burnt out from reading nonfiction (is that the correct classification for those kinds of books?). I'm trying to cut down on adding any more books to my "to-read" list on Goodreads since I've hit 300+ on that list...there's no way I'll be able to read all of those books if my list continues to grow. Gotta slow down.

I continue to receive notifications about people adding my story "Riches to Rags" to their favorites on Scribd. It's amusing to me to see how my other story, "Tight Jeans", hasn't received nearly as many hits and nobody has added that story to their favorites. What is it that has drawn readers to Ivan instead of the anonymous bakery shop owner? It's something I've been pondering; is it because of the POV? The voices of the stories themselves? What can be improved upon "Tight Jeans" to make it more appealing?

Perhaps my answer will come to me soon enough. In the meantime, I will need to really get working on my other short story revisions. Until next time....

All-American: Pillow Fight Club, San Francisco

2009-02-15T15:47:00.000-08:00

Last night, I was dragged along to attend the Pillow Fight set at 6 p.m. in the Justin Herman Plaza aka Ferry Plaza. I didn't participate in the event, but I did observe the frenzy and took pictures and videos of people hitting friends and complete strangers with pillows. It seemed stress-relieving and just overall fun; at the same time, though, I kept thinking about who was going to clean up the mess and whether there was a risk in injuries.

The preparation for the outing was already amusing enough: going into Ross was like Christmas shopping all over again, except everyone was shopping for pillows, not gifts. The line for the register was insanely long, with some people grabbing more than one pillow, and some settling for couch cushions since the selection on pillows had run low/sold out.

Then, walking towards the Ferry Building, I just saw a ton of people walking/running/hopping along carrying their pillows. Many onlookers weren't even aware of the event, and those who were interested had to scramble for an extra pillow of their own. Others just kind of looked for a moment and then continued on with their Valentine's Day festivities.

Once the clock struck 6:00, the crowd walking towards the Ferry Plaza soon became a running mob; I arrived at the scene to a ton of people hitting each other with pillows and feathers already flying. Some people were perched atop the trees in the plaza, watching safely from above, while the other observers and I stood in the outer realms of the plaza and took our pictures with abandon. Feathers, feathers, everywhere.

While observing the organized chaos, I felt quite a bit of emotion within me, mainly over the fact that something like this could only really happen in San Francisco. A pillow fight event elsewhere? Maybe in New York, maybe not...maybe in other places? Maybe not. This was something I felt I had to experience at least once, and I was glad I was able to go, even if I didn't actually partake in the frenzy. It was a good change of pace from the mundane ways of life.

Moving Forward on Novels & More

2009-02-14T08:38:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day; what are your plans for the day?

This past week has been another busy one, but I'm happy to say that I'm still making strides in my writing. Just this morning, I reached 10,000 words on Novel 4, which is pretty good for writing this outside of NaNoWriMo. I also finished shuffling my plot in the original manuscript for Novel 1 and completed some character worksheets. The next step is to write character sketches/background stories for the main characters; then, it's time to rewrite.

It seems that I continue to receive more hits on Scribd for my short story, "Riches to Rags," which is very great publicity. Stay tuned for more updates over the course of the next few days.

Book Events This Week.

2009-02-13T08:25:00.000-08:00

I attended two different book events this week: one for Shanthi Sekaran's debut novel, The Prayer Room; the other event for Yiyun Li's novel, The Vagrants. Both were insightful for me, since I was able to see how authors organize their book events differently. Of course, the venues weren't the same either: at Book Inc., Sekaran's event was held in the back of the bookstore, a somewhat more cozy atmosphere. For Li, she held her event at the public library in one of the community rooms, so it was more like a lecture hall.

Shanthi Sekaran appeared to be nervous since it's her first book tour; however, the excerpts she read from her book were promising and strong. I briefly chatted with her, and it was flattering that she recognized me from goodreads. I wish her the best of luck on the rest of her tour.

Yiyun Li read fewer excerpts from her book, but nonetheless they were also captivating. The story seems to lean more towards political themes from China, so it may take me some time to read through the book. I was more interested in the tips she was giving to the audience during the Q&A; the bits I liked the most was about her "literary heritage" (she aspires to write like an Irish author), and about how "a novel is like a marriage, while a short story is like an affair." Both insights made me think more about my own background, and what I seek with writing. What kind of literary heritage do I have? Have I even established it yet? It also amused me when Li mentioned that one of her favorite hobbies is eavesdropping.

I'm looking forward to reading both books and also attending more book events in the future.

Featured on Scribd

2009-02-08T09:08:00.000-08:00

Well, a pleasant surprise to the start of my Sunday: I usually check my email in the mornings, and today I was greeted with a notification email from Scribd. The email said that four people had indicated that they Liked my short story, "Riches to Rags"; I checked up on my post at the website and saw that somehow my story ended up having 300+ views in the past day. Surprising, until I noticed that the post had been awarded as Featured on the Scribd homepage. Nice, very nice.

So, check out the feature, read it, and if you like it, please let me know. Post some comments as well, let me know what you really think about the story. There's always room for more improvement.

Another novel in the works.

2009-02-07T07:05:00.000-08:00

This past week, I began my venture into another novel--Novel 4 to be exact. NaNoWriMo doesn't come around quite as often as I'd like, it seems, since I end up itching to start another novel shortly after NaNoWriMo in the past couple of years.

What I have been trying to do with each novel I have written so far is to experiment with different genres; my first novel, Writing the Past, can be described as Mainstream Fiction (for the timebeing anyway); my second novel....well, I was trying to write it as a mystery/suspense, but I need to go back and seriously tweak the plot after rewriting the first novel; my third novel...adventure/travel. This fourth novel leans more towards a memoir; so far, it's been challenging writing in this genre since I am trying to get the general true facts down.

Well, it's refreshing to have something new to work with, although I know I should be focusing more on rewriting my first novel since I intend to publish it by summertime. Watch my progress on Novel 4's wordcount in the sidebar, and wish me luck. =)

New Story Post; Characters & Settings and Tangibility

2009-02-06T10:50:00.000-08:00

It's safe to say that I can breathe again after a less-than-fruitful week. For the past two weeks, I haven't had much time to devote to my writing; in general, I haven't had much time to myself due to festivities for Chinese New Year and my birthday over the past two weekends. Don't get me wrong: I love celebrations, I love time with family and friends, but like any other person, I also love time spent alone.

I feel like I can't fully function/be alert with tasks/work when I do not have at least one full day to myself to do whatever I want to do. Even though on certain days of the week I still have time before and after work to myself, it's never enough for me to have those pockets of time. I need a full day.

So, because of the lack of time lately, my updates to my website and my short works had been suffering; only today was I able to get around to adding another short story to my website (called "Riches to Rags" under Other Works); it's slightly longer than my other work, and the POV is from a man instead. As always, please feel free to leave feedback/reviews on my comments post.

I've been working hard on developing more about my characters from Writing the Past, but I'm having trouble with a couple of elements; in general, I feel like this is a weak point in my writing at this stage. The question goes--

When writing non-Science Fiction/Fantasy, is it important/mandatory to have real location names (i.e., names of real cities like New York, San Francisco, Fairfax, etc.)? Also, is it necessary to directly address characters' ethnicities/cultural backgrounds?

The reason why I struggle with these aspects of writing is because I do not want to box my characters into the stereotypes or "familiar" things akin to familiar locations, cultures, etc. It may be a controversial matter, but I don't want to feel like I am limited to only writing about Asians, Asian-Americans, etc. and their plight of living in certain conditions/cultural conflicts/etc. What exactly is accepted/not accepted though? What makes a storyline tangible, easy-to-relate?

Any insight is appreciated.

Start of another month; birthday wishes.

2009-02-01T15:24:00.000-08:00

The first of February, and it's amazing to look back on the previous month and realize the new doors of opportunity, windows of inspiration that have opened for me already this year:

1) My passion for writing has surged forward with a vengeance, giving me extra motivation to get the word out on my writing, building a fan base and also giving me more reason to go back and revise my shorter works. Despite a hectic weekly schedule, I have made big strides in my goals this past month.

2) Since I began the Photo 365 project on New Year's Day, I have found more joy in taking pictures every day. My interest in photography has become heightened again, and I look forward to seeing the small things in my daily life through my camera lens. The extra photo opportunities have also helped me find more writing ideas.

I'm looking forward to more opportunities being presented to me as time unfolds.

In other news; the end of January came and went rather interestingly. Greetings for my birthday came a couple of days earlier when I received a surprise vase of flowers at the office (sent from my older brother and his family). It was a very pleasant surprise to receive, albeit the commute home that night was quite an amusing one (I kept receiving stares and random smiles from strangers since it must have looked a little strange to see someone holding a VASE of flowers, not a simple bouquet). I rarely ever receive flowers, but I find that when I do receive them, I feel a rush of emotions within me.

I spent my birthday yesterday quietly with a few of my relatives and some close friends. I didn't want too much for my birthday; just some quiet time to relax and reflect. I received a few more email/phone birthday greetings than expected, so that was nice. I feel like the past few years I haven't felt overly excited for my birthday; sure, I'm still happy when the day comes, and I appreciate all of the greetings/well wishes, but it's also just another day in my life that I'm happy to have. I wonder if I will continue to feel this way as the years go by.

Finding Inspiration From Others & Delays

2009-01-28T17:37:00.000-08:00

Recently, my bus rides have been consumed with reading Blind Your Ponies, by Stanley G. West. It is a thick monster of a book, and at times it's hard to follow the plot since West writes from multiple points-of-view, but nonetheless, I have enjoyed the story so far. It's been captivating my attention on the bus rides to and from work that I don't even have the time to think about using my iPod these days.

Reading the book, however, has made me also realize a lot of things about my own writing. The prose in West's book is smart and rather lyrical; I continue to wonder if my writing will reach that point someday. Yesterday, I went back to the public library to do more research in the writing magazines; I found myself feeling more humbled by the articles I read on how to improve my drafts and my general sense of writing.

The past week or so has been dry for me, writing-wise. Things began to slip a little bit last Wednesday, but I've still managed to keep up the momentum for my daily Novel 1 check-in. I should really start referring to that book with its working title, so I can feel more sense of completion. Since the deadline for ABNA is already less than a week away, I'm disappointed to say that I will not have my manuscript ready for submission. Well, it was worth the try to aim high so soon; I will still continue to aim for self-publishing the book by this summer.

Well, my Muse will come back yet.

Novel 1, inching step-by-step.

2009-01-24T11:50:00.000-08:00

Another week down, another week closer to rewriting Novel 1.

I refer to my first novel as simply "Novel 1" not because I don't have a title for it, but more because it's just easier. The working title is "Writing the Past" but something about the simplicity of the title bothers me; I'm not sure if that's the kind of title I want the public to use.

Anyway, aside from that tangent--there was some shuffling of cards/plot (see previous post's picture) and I think I have decided upon a new, re-structured plot to work with for revision. There are still many plot holes to fill in and also some character development to work on; throughout this process over the past three weeks, I have noticed some areas I need to improve upon regarding my writing.

One area I know I need to improve upon is how to end stories with a resolved, (relatively) satisfied feeling. I have been practicing writing some short stories/flash prose and, even though everything starts out with a huge force of momentum, the speed slows down by the end and suddenly things just stop. That, or they flop down in a lackluster fashion. Is the only way to improve in this area just through practice, practice, practice?

I finished reading How NOT to Write a Novel on Thursday; it was an easy, hilarious read, but it also gave me a lot of insight into what I have been doing wrong with my manuscripts and writing in general. I can't expect to be perfect from the beginning, so I feel very grateful to have been able to secure a copy of this book early on in my career. A lot of the mistakes pointed out in the book were quite eye-opening to me: although I already knew I had horrible plot holes and strange characters in Novels 2 & 3, the advice given in How NOT to Write a Novel helped me figure out what I can do to improve on those aspects in my novels.

My beta readers gave me some feedback on my plot synopsis for Novel 1, so that helped me figure out which areas to expand upon for revision. The next tasks I have in mind are to do some research on certain topics mentioned in the novel, and to also just decide on how to develop the characters more.

This weekend and the next may not give me as much time as the previous weekends (due to Chinese New Year and birthday plans), so I will have to try my best to get some writing/revision time in during weekday mornings. So far, the journey has been very enjoyable, and I hope for the most part it stays that way.

Blog mishaps & Laying out the cards

2009-01-19T13:10:00.000-08:00

I apologize for the brief outage of the blog yesterday; I decided to upload my website and put it live on the web since I had been working on it diligently all weekend. However, all weekend I have also been racking my mind with how to make my blog show up on the homepage of my website. I had attempted to install WordPress on the server, but the program kept crashing and I could not figure out how to customize the layout. Due to the seemingly never-ending frustration with WordPress, I decided I would uninstall it and keep with this current blog.

Then, I thought I had figured out how to transfer/re-publish all my blog posts from this one to the FTP server...only to find that the blog posts simply weren't showing up on the index page as I had hoped. I know there was some line of code I must have been missing, but I could not figure it out on my own. The Blogger Help Group was no help, ironically; nobody had an answer to my question. So, long story short, the blog has migrated back to Blogger for the timebeing. If any kind soul out there knows how to solve this problem, please, drop me a line here.

Aside from that, I did have a pretty good day of editing/revising yesterday. I laid out the PowerPoint slides I had printed out of Novel 1 and I was very impressed to see my first novel's work all laid out on the floor (see picture above). Last night, I went through the cards and cut out a few nonessential scenes; the next step now is to shuffle some scenes, rearrange some parts of the plot. I also typed a brief plot synopsis to send to a few of my close friends for critique/insight; have received one response so far, and looking forward to the other responses.

I shared the first draft of one of my short short stories with one of the online writing communities I've been a part of for some time; got some tips and revised the story. The story, entitled "Tight Jeans" is now available under "Other Works" via downloading (.pdf) or you can view it on Scribd. Please feel free to read and review the short. Let me know what you think.

More works will be available soon. =)

Comments on Works

2009-01-18T09:01:00.000-08:00

Feel free to leave comments in this post about your thoughts on any work I have posted.

Please follow these guidelines before posting:

List the title of the piece that you read
What did you like about it? What could be improved upon future work?
Did you read it on Scribd or through my website?
Additional comments

Remember: constructive criticism encouraged; rude comments are discouraged.

Thank you for reading my work.

Fruits of Today's Labor:

2009-01-17T19:41:00.001-08:00

I went a little "crazy" at the SFPL today with writing books. I had intended on sitting down and skimming through the books, but the library was buzzing with people and there weren't many convenient places to sit at. So, I simply checked out all the books and brought them home with me. I spent a good 3-4 hours at the library in the morning: perused through a couple issues of Writer's Digest and The Writer to get some tips and write down some notes. In all honesty, it was the first time for me to look at the magazines, and I was pleasantly surprised to find so much information in both of them. I got a lot more ideas for promoting my works and, in general, improving upon my craft.

Tonight, I read through a few of my shorter works from last year; having trouble trying to edit them since I am all too familiar with the plots (or lack thereof). Also, I keep finding myself feeling stumped by the differences between novella vs. short story vs. flash fiction. Does anyone have an answer? I feel like I need some enlightenment in that area.

Gorgeous Friday in San Francisco; More Book Work

2009-01-16T19:27:00.000-08:00

It was certainly a gorgeous day outside today, so I decided to go out and take a walk at Lands End Park/Sutro District. I hadn't been back since September, despite the location being relatively close to my place. The weather has been unseasonably warm and sunny here all week; today was my first day to be able to take advantage of the weather, though.

Even though I spent a couple of hours at the park, the majority of my day was spent back in my apartment before and after the outing. I woke up at my usual time to get some work done on my website; it's registered, it's there, but no content yet (was working on that earlier). I say that it's scheduled to launch in February just to give myself these next couple of weeks to finish editing/revising a few short stories so I can present them on the website right when it launches. So, bookmark the page and stay tuned to this blog--there will definitely be content there soon. =)

I also signed up for Facebook and Myspace again...despite my feelings towards re-joining those sites for personal reasons. But, this time, I realize I am able to separate my professional self from my personal self--that I will try my best not to get myself caught up in the past again. I'll only be using the websites for what the founders really wanted to use them for: networking.

Tonight I topped off the full day of progress by completing my movable outline. I'm noticing more and more plot holes in my novel than before; the rest of this weekend is going to be reserved for shuffling up the plot a bit before I go back and actually start micro-editing. I know editing is a long process, but so far it seems like I am going at a good pace. =)

End of the week; extra notes.

2009-01-15T19:20:00.000-08:00

Well, it's been one of "those" weeks, but surprisingly I have managed to stay upbeat about things. Tonight I finally got around to purchasing my domain via DreamHost, so I am hoping by tomorrow I will be able to start playing around with creating my homepage. I'll need to get back into creating graphics of some sort.

The movable outline stage of the editing process is moving along well (no pun intended, perhaps). Since I have a long weekend ahead of me, I aim to finish my outline by tomorrow or Saturday and start shuffling the cards. Originally, I was going to seek out plot advice from a larger group of people, but I think now I will only share it with a few people whom I trust.

In terms of the writing realm, my confidence in my story weaving has dropped a little during this week, perhaps from my general moodiness of the week. Also, I began reading Howard Mittelmark's and Sandra Newman's book, How NOT To Write A Novel, and I realize a lot of the elements they list in the book are in fact in my first draft. But, I keep reminding myself, that I still am working off of my first draft, not my final. I know I have a long way to go to polish the novel off, so I know I cannot get myself down over my first draft. Besides, I already see a lot of characters in the novel that need to be "killed off" for the re-write.

I wrote a piece of flash fiction last night and found myself rolling into confusion over the different types of work I can produce. For the longest time, I just kept referring to my shorter pieces as "short stories", when in fact, they are supposed to be labeled "flash fiction". I've been perusing WikiHow lately with their writing articles, and have refreshed my memory on the different writing techniques and so forth. Of course, this weekend I am going to reserve one day to go to the public library and do more research on writing/how to get published/etc. It will indeed be a scholarly weekend for me.

Well, here's to the end of this week, and knowing that I survived.

Passion.

2009-01-12T19:05:00.000-08:00

What do you do when you realize that the passion you had for something was dormant for so long--only to have that passion be reawakened with a kind vengeance (a paradox, really) on the time that was lost to other supposed endeavors?

Get the word out: New URL, Twitter URL, etc.

2009-01-11T09:52:00.000-08:00

It's already Sunday, but I feel like a lot happened over the course of the past couple of days: a lot of brainstorming, planning, etc. I have decided that I will not use a pen name, since I realized I was having trouble signing the pen name I had decided on (silly reason, but it's important, isn't it?). I have also decided that, instead of starting a whole new writing blog, I will simply use this current blog as my writing one.

You may notice that there have been some changes with this blog and my Twitter account--both have been "rechristened" with my name. No longer hiding behind my Internet moniker; I think I've grown out of that phase as well.

So please, update your bookmarks for this blog; the new url is http://helenekwong.blogspot.com/

I'm hoping by the end of today I will also have purchased my domain so I can begin building my website and getting the word out there. Oh yes, and I have also decided that I will self-publish my first book instead of going through an agent. Thank you to everyone for the additional insight, and I hope that you will join me along this journey of getting the word out on my works.